


Make My Own Life

by someofthissomeofthat11011



Series: Make My Own Life [1]
Category: Vampire Academy Series - Richelle Mead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-30
Updated: 2014-01-22
Packaged: 2018-01-06 18:29:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 44,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1110145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/someofthissomeofthat11011/pseuds/someofthissomeofthat11011
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose is a girl in a time when only men can become guardians. But Rose isn't happy with this. She's tired of having her entire life planned for her. She decides to make her own life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> *Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy, Richelle Mead does!*

Rose's POV

"Well why not?" I screamed at the top of my lungs.

"It is not a lady's place to fight Strigoi! Even if we wanted to, we couldn't. You know that!" My mother screamed back.

"It's not fair! It's not my fault queen bitch is afraid of breaking a nail. If I want to become a guardian, I should be able to!" I yelled

"It's not your place! You are supposed to stay at home and raise your children. It is our duty!" My mother screamed.

"Fuck duty! I want to be a guardian. My duty is to the moroi world. My duty is to kill Strigoi!" I said angrily. I was so tired of having my life planned out for me.

"Rosemarie. Where did I go wrong with you?" She asked as she shook her head.

"Is it so wrong that I would want to make our world a better place? If women want to fight, we should be allowed to!" I said stubbornly.

This was an old argument. I was one of seven children, and I was the only girl. My brothers rubbed off on me. I trained with them pretty much from birth. I had three older brothers, and four younger ones. While my older brothers were sent away to be trained as guardians, I stayed and trained with my younger ones. When my older brothers came home on school breaks, they would teach me the moves they learned while at school.

I picked up the techniques quickly and I could easily take on any of my brothers. I was a natural fighter. But according to Queen Tatiana, a world at war is no place for a lady. The thing is, I don't want to be a lady. I've spent countless days wishing I had been born a man so I would have a right to fight, to defend. How anyone could be happy sitting at home having children was beyond my understanding.

It isn't fair that women don't have a say in their lives. If we want to, we should be allowed to fight. But no one seems to see it that way. At least no one in our little town. I live in Ambel, Indiana. Population 330. Half of our population is moroi, the other half dhampirs. The only humans here are the feeders for the moroi families. And it seems that I am the only one here that is discontent with having my whole life laid out before me.

"It's not wrong. But you are trying to make it better in the wrong way!" My mother shouted, breaking me out of my reverie. "You are supposed to settle down and marry."

"I don't want to marry!" I shrieked. "I want to be a guardian."

"What's wrong with Adrian? He's a lovely moroi man. You two would be good for one another," my mother insisted. That's what started this whole argument. The stupid arranged marriage. Adrian was a moroi who was three years older than me. I almost felt bad, because I knew he had true feelings for me, but I did not return those feelings. Nor do I have any interest in marriage. Plus, Adrian was an asshole. He went about displaying his feelings all the wrong way. And when he was drunk, which was always, he knew no boundaries.

"I'm only sixteen," I told her annoyed.

"I was younger than you are now when I had your brother," she pointed out.

"I'm not you mom! And I wouldn't want to be! I am not okay with having my life planned out for me. I do not want to marry Adrian. I want to marry someone I love. I don't want to spend my life popping out children. I want to spend it killing Strigoi and defending moroi!"

"And tell me Rosemarie. What moroi would feel safe with you as a guardian?" My mother asked me angrily.

Ouch. That hurt. "Lissa," I told her through gritted teeth. Lissa was my best friend since kindergarten. We have a strange bond between us. It formed when we were in a really bad car accident that killed her parents and her brother. I technically died and Lissa brought me back to life. Since then, I get this kind of vibe of how she is feeling. It's like a soft humming in the back of my head. I can always tell when she's happy or sad.

I can also get sucked into her head to see what she is thinking, but I try not to do that as much as possible. It's not always easy. There's no books on what to do when you are psychically linked to your best friend, but me and Lissa fumble through it as much as possible. Lissa and I have no secrets, so I always find out what she's thinking anyway. It feels like an invasion of privacy, but I can't help it.

The first time I had gotten sucked into her head was a little after our bond had formed. Lissa was really upset about her parents and she ran away. I woke up in the middle of the night and I could see dusty old boxes that I had definitely never seen before. I could feel the depression and anguish crushing me. It had taken me several minutes to pull myself out of her head. I had wracked my brain, trying to figure out where she could be. I kept get flashes from her and eventually I figured it out. She had gone to the attic of the church chapel. When I got there, I was faced with an awful sight. She had cut herself. When I promised not to tell, Lissa told me everything about how she had been feeling. Since then, whenever Lissa thinks she can't hold it in anymore, she sends me a message through our bond. My resolve to become her guardian had deepened then. I knew I would be able to protect her from herself too. While those moments are few and far between now, they used to happen much more often.

My mother rolled her eyes at me again. "Even if you were allowed to be a guardian, there is no way they would let you be a guardian to the Dragomir Princess!" My mother yelled. "The last Dragomir." She said that like it was a joke.

I sighed. This was an old argument too. We had this fight at least twice a week. No matter what I tried, my mother just didn't understand. "Regardless of whether I become a guardian or not, I am not. I repeat am not marrying Adrian!" I shouted.

"You will marry Adrian. You two are getting married in three days. This is your life Rosemarie. You better accept it!" My mother said threateningly.

I stomped away. No way in hell was I marrying Adrian. That's when I knew I had to do something. I couldn't just sit around and watch my life go by without a say in anything.

I climbed out my window, and walked towards the center of town. I was going to make my own life.


	2. Chapter 2

Rose POV

I made my way to the center of town where all the shopping plazas were. My town was so predictable. The mall, the super market, the Target. They were all in the middle of town. Surrounding the shopping centers were all the houses and apartments.

Ducking around the side of the building, I banged on a rusty door three times. I knew the drill by now. The first time I had done this, I banged on the door relentlessly until I was let in. It had almost gotten me killed.

A short man in stained clothes with yellow teeth answered the door. "I need to speak to Mr. Mazur," I told him.

He frowned. "Is he expecting you?" He asked uncertainly.

"No, but I need to see him," I told him emotionlessly.

"Mr. Mazur is not seeing clients today," he said seriously. Oh, Abe. I had to resist the impulse to laugh. I don't know why he always does this. He hires a different person every week and never tells them that I am not a client.

"Why don't you ask him if I can come in and talk to him?" I asked, slightly amused.

"Your funeral," He said with a sigh. He gestured me inside. "Mr. Mazur, someone is here to see you," the man called.

"Who is it? I told you no clients today!" Mr. Mazur called from an office. I rolled my eyes. He tries to sound so intimidating.

"Abe. It's me," I said. I watched as the man's eyes widened at my use of Abe's first name.

"Rose? I'm sorry I have such incompetent staff. Come in! Come in!" He called. I could hear the happiness enter his voice. Abe loved it when I dropped by and I felt a little guilty that I wouldn't be able to do that again. But at least this wasn't a surprise. He knew this was coming.

I walked past the stunned man and straight into Abe's office. I ignored the uncomfortable plastic chairs in front of his desk and settled myself in the comfortable armchair in the corner. "What can I do for my little girl?" Abe asked me with a smile.

"Did you finish my papers old man?" I asked him, amused. I don't know why he insists on calling me his little girl. I'm not little. But there's nothing I can do except call him an old man.

He sighed, but nodded. I felt my earlier guilt return at the sorrow on his face. "I can't say I'm happy about it…" He started.

"But you agree I have the right to live my own life," I finished. We had had this conversation several times now. He understood where I was coming from and he agreed with me.

He nodded. "What are you going to do? Where are you going to go?" He asked me. He sounded like a police officer interrogating a suspect, but I know better. I know he was just concerned about me.

"I don't know," I told him honestly.

He glanced at me, then handed me a manila envelope. I opened it and looked at the content inside. Social security card, birth certificate, passport, old school ID, and school transcripts. All under the name Robert Hemmingway.

I grinned at Abe. "Perfect," I said happily.

"One more thing," Abe said gruffly. He looked like he was fighting tears.

"You're not about to go soft on me, are you old man?" I asked him teasingly.

Abe chuckled. He rifled through his desk drawer for a moment, looking for something.

I looked up at him confused. I didn't ask for anything else. He handed me another manila envelope. I opened it and found it filled with cash.

I looked up at him, my eyes wide with shock. There had to be thousands of dollars in here. While my brain was already calculating the shopping spree I could go on, my mouth had other plans. "I can't accept this," I told him honestly.

"Yes you can. It's the least I can do. I'm technically the reason you're a girl," he pointed out.

I shrugged. "Nothing you could have done about it," I told him sincerely. I didn't blame him for me being a girl. I blamed queen bitch for thinking girls are too delicate to fight.

"But still. Maybe if Frank had been your father too…" He started.

"But Frank isn't my father. My father may be a scoundrel, but he is the reason I am getting out of this hell hole. And he's the man that had his guardians train me so well," I pointed out. Abe was my father and only my father. Frank was the father of all my brothers. During the time I was conceived, Frank was away on a business trip. My mother got lonely and… Well you know what happened next. Nine months later here I was.

No one in my family knows I know that. My mother has always told me Frank was my father, and I never told her otherwise. I don't even know if Frank realizes he's not my father.

I wouldn't have found out if I hadn't bumped into Abe in the street when I was twelve. I look a lot like Abe. I have his hair and his eyes. When I bumped into him, he looked at me shocked. Then the story started to come out. He told me I reminded him of this woman he used to know. When he told me her name was Janine, I thought I was going to faint. When I told him I was Janine's daughter, I thought he was going to faint. Like father, like daughter, right?

Abe's kept an eye on me ever since. When he found out I wanted to be a guardian, he ordered his guardians to train me. I was pretty damn good.

Abe grinned at me. "Oh, before I forget. Congratulations!" He told me excitedly.

"Um… Congratulations?" I asked, looking at him confused. Was he congratulating me on leaving? That wasn't much of an achievement, especially considering the entire thing was being sponsored by him.

"You Robert, got into St. Vladimir's Academy, the prestigious institution for the training of guardians," he told me with a twinkle in his eyes.

I jumped to my feet. "You got me into a school specifically for guardians?" I squealed. I gave Abe a huge hug.

"I'm going to be a guardian. I'm going to be a guardian!" I squealed in a very un-guardian like way. Now there's something you should know about me. I don't squeal. That should tell you how excited I was.

"Okay, I need to give you some pointers. Guys… Do not do… That," he said, motioning to me.

"Right," I said trying to make my voice low so I could sound like a boy. I needed to start now so I could be convincing when I got to St. Vladimir's Academy.

Abe nodded in approval, so I guess my voice was convincing. "The money should help you buy some masculine clothes for school and anything you need to change your appearance," he said to me. "You'll need a haircut."

I nodded and thanked him.

"Be safe," he told me, pulling me into one last hug. I enjoyed his embrace, not knowing when I would get a chance to see him again. I kissed his cheek and then I walked away. I walked away from my home and my family. I walked away from my life.


	3. Chapter 3

Dimitri's POV

I was woken up by a call around 2:00 in the morning. "Hello?" I asked tiredly.

"Hello. This is Stan Alto, head guardian at St. Vladimir's Academy. Is this Dimitri Belikov?" a man asked.

I sat up instantly alert. "This is he," I said formally. I had sent my guardian application to several schools in America about a month ago, but this is the first time I've heard back from someone.

"I had a chance to review your application. We have an open position at the Academy, and we would be honored if you would fill it," Stan told me. Yes! I screamed silently in my head.

"That's great. I would love to accept the job," I told him sincerely, trying to keep the excitement out of my voice. Ever since my charge had been killed by Strigoi, I had been trying to find a job that didn't involve one on one guarding. I couldn't bear to get close to someone like that again. Ivan is someone I got very close to and it almost killed me when he was killed. I had briefly come home to see Karolina's baby and when I went back, no more Ivan. It was awful.

"Great. We would like you here in a week. You're duties will entail walking around the Academy's borders as surveillance. You will have regular shifts where you will have to guard a specific classroom. We would also appreciate it if you would mentor a new student. Robert Hemmingway will be joining us in a week and he will need to catch up to the other novices," Stan explained. That's it. That's not a lot. I wondered how much tutoring this kid would need. I would think at least a minimum of two. Depending on his dedication, maybe more.

"That all sounds reasonable," I told him, my head already abuzz with planning training sessions.

"I'll see you in a week," Stan told me, then the line went dead.

I lay back in bed exhausted. I knew I would have to call the airlines and get a flight from Russia to Montana, but I knew that could wait until morning. I instantly fell back asleep.

When I awoke the next morning, I immediately went downstairs to find my mother in the kitchen, cooking breakfast. I saw she was cooking blini.

"Yum," I said alerting her to the fact that I was in her kitchen.

She turned to me. "Morning Dimka," she greeted me fondly.

"Morning mom," I told her with a lazy grin.

"Oh mom. I got a job!" I said suddenly excited. I had forgotten about the phone call last night. As the details came back to me, I realized I need to book a flight ASAP.

My mother's face lit up with a grin. "That's great Dimka. What will you be doing?" She asked me. I could see sincere happiness on her face. She knows what Ivan's death did to me and she knows how restless I've been with nothing to do.

"Guarding St. Vladimir's Academy," I told her. "I have to be there in a week."

Her face fell slightly, before she hid it. "I'm so happy for you Dimka," she said.

"Thanks mom," I told her. Anything else I was going to say was cut off as Viktoria walked into the kitchen. She had never been a morning person, and she never even tried to look like a civilized person until she had eaten breakfast. Her hair was matted to the back of her head. It looked frizzy and knotted. She was in a tank top and sweatpants and wore an I don't give a fuck look on her face.

"Viktoria," I greeted stiffly.

"Guardian Belikov," she returned bitterly, her eyes flashing with anger.

Viktoria and I used to be really close. Even though she was nine years younger than me, we hung out a lot together. I was the overprotective older brother and she worshipped me for it. I would read to her all the time, and I would be the monsters in her make-believe world, letting her kill me over and over again. I never complained.

But, that all changed as she grew older. When she found out she couldn't become a guardian like me, she started to turn bitter towards me. Don't get me wrong, I love my little sister, and I know she still loves me, but she just is upset with her life. I don't really know what she wants me to do about it. I can't help that I was born a guy and she was born a girl. I do feel bad for her and I wish there was something I could do, but I can't make the queen change her mind.

She wanted to be a guardian more than anything else in the world. She hates that because she is a woman, she's not allowed to. Viktoria had trouble accepting things couldn't go her way.


	4. Chapter 4

Rose's POV

The first thing I did was buy guy clothes. I only bought one outfit at first, using the excuse that it was for my brothers.

It would look suspicious if a girl my age was buying a whole new wardrobe for a guy. Once I had my first set of guy clothes, I got on a bus and left. I left and didn't look back.

Once I was out of Indiana, I stopped at a public rest stop. Glancing around to make sure no one was looking, I walked into the boys bathroom and entered the first stall. I changed into the outfit I had bought. I had also bough rolls and rolls of the stuff you use to wrap a sprain. I wrapped it around myself to hide all of my curves. For all intents and purposes, I had the body of a boy.

Once I was adequately dressed, I addressed a major issue with my appearance. My hair. I briefly considered wearing a wig, but there was too much of a possibility that it would fall off during training. After I took a deep breath, I came to the only conclusion I could. I would have to cut it. That was hard for me to accept, because I loved my hair. I had spent years growing it out this long. But if it was between my hair and being a guardian I totally choose being a guardian.

I took my small knife out of my bag and cut off my hair in uneven strokes. I would have to go to a barber and get it fixed so it was flat, but at least I looked more like a guy now.

When I stepped out of the stall, I gasped at my reflection. If I hadn't known I was standing here, I wouldn't recognize myself. Without my make-up, my hair, and my curves, I was really starting to look like a boy. Maybe this will actually work. I hope so.

When I walked out, I got on another bus that took me to Iowa. That's where I went on a huge shopping spree. I bought enough for at least twenty guys. I bought everything I knew I would need. I also got my hair buzzed. I had to use all of my self-control not to react to the piled of hair that lay around me. It was gone. All gone.

Then I went to an airport. I booked a flight to Montana. I would be leaving in five days. So I booked a hotel for that time and enjoyed my time in Iowa. I practiced being a boy, and I had pretty good results. Some of the things I said had people looking at me oddly, but for the most part, they ate up my act.

I was finally on the plane to Montana. It landed in an airport that wasn't far from the Academy. I decided to walk, which wasn't easy with my giant suitcase. As I walked to the Academy, praying to a god I didn't think existed that I would be able to pull this off.

It was going to be difficult to be a guy. I had to hope I had enough practice with my brothers to pass for a guy. Because of my perverted brothers, I knew how to talk like a guy. And now I looked like a guy. So, I just needed to act like a guy.

As I approached the gate to St. Vladimir's, I started to have my doubts. What if I wasn't convincing enough? What if someone found out I was a girl? What if I couldn't keep up with the boys? I quickly brushed those thoughts from my head. If I could take on my brother's, I could take on any guy here.

I was born to be a guardian. With those words in my mind, I confidently walked up to the gate.

The guardian manning the gate looked at me. "Who are you?" He asked, a little surprised. I knew I was a day early, but come on.

"Robert Hemmingway," I told him.

He took in my appearance and smirked at me. "They let anyone in these days," he muttered under his breath. I just knew I wasn't going to like him. "Stan Alto," he said to me.

I nodded at him, still a little pissed at his comment. I was short, really short and I looked bulky with all my curves hidden, but he really shouldn't judge a book by its cover. I could totally kick his ass.

He let me inside the Academy and escorted me to the main office on the campus. Once I was inside, he left me alone without any further instructions.

I saw a tall, tan man standing in the office. He had soft brown hair that was tied at the base of his neck. He had chocolaty brown eyes that practically made me swoon. Stop Rose, get a hold of yourself. I took a deep breath, preparing to speak.

The man spoke before I could. "I'm Dimitri Belikov," he said holding his hand out to me.

"I'm Ros… Robert Hemmingway," I said catching myself.

I took his hand, dropping it almost immediately when a flash of heat went between us. I looked back into his startled eyes. I almost got lost in the depths of brown. Shit.


	5. Chapter 5

Dimitri's POV

My mother drove me to the airport four days later. She insisted that she wanted to drive me to 'see her little boy off,' but I wasn't buying it. She's spent the last four months watching my every move. It's like she's waiting for me to have a break down or for Ivan's death to hit me.

I've spent the last four months, pretending I'm okay. I'm not even close to being over Ivan's death and that's because I can't mourn under my mother's constant scrutiny. She's always worried about me. It's driving me insane. That's one of the reasons I wanted to escape from… I mean leave Russia.

Don't get me wrong. I love Russia and I love being with my family, but I need time to get over my best friend's death. That's not something I can do here.

When we got to the airport, my mom went inside with me. The first thing I did was drop off my luggage. The man at the station helped me load up my suitcases onto the conveyor belt.

"Thank you," I said to him with a smile.

"Anytime," the man said with a wink.

I had to suppress my smile as I felt my mother stiffen next to me. She was extremely religious. I internally rolled my eyes at my mother. She was too old-fashioned sometimes.

I turned to her and gave her a hug. "Bye mom. I'll call you when I land," I promised her.

She looked surprised at my abrupt farewell, but she didn't say anything. She just hugged me tighter and kissed my cheek.

She walked away with tears in her eyes. I felt a brief pang of sadness. I was going to miss her, but I had to move on with my life. Once she was out of eyesight, I took my seat and waited for my flight. It felt like only a couple of seconds had passed as I thought about my future and what it held. Before I knew it, there was an announcement saying that I should board my plane. I stepped on the plane and quickly found my seat.

A really young human boy sat next to me. He was very fidgety and was listening to really loud music. I groaned. This was going to be a long flight.

Fifteen hours later, I landed in Montana. The Academy had arranged for a car to pick me up from the airport, which was only a twenty minute drive from the Academy. When we arrived, I was immediately led to the Headmaster's office.

"Hello I am Guardian Evan Kirova, headmaster of St. Vladimir's Academy," he greeted me. He held out his hand for me to shake.

"Dimitri Belikov," I said shaking his hand.

Evan nodded. "We have your living arrangements prepared for you. You will be living in a room on the third floor of one of the senior novice floors." He handed me a key and a folder filled with papers. "You have your own bathroom and kitchen area," he told me. "I am sure Guardian Alto told you a brief overview of your responsibilities will be. He will contact you later today to go more into depth about what will be expected of you at this prestigious Academy."

He turned back to his paperwork. That kind of seemed like a dismissal.

I left the office and set off to find my room. It was on the third floor of the novice building closest to the gym. I was pretty excited that I wouldn't have to walk far to get there. All the guardians at the Academy were in charge of the students on their floor. According to my folder, I was in charge of almost forty novices. If they do something wrong, I am the one that has the pleasure of punishing them.

I looked through the other papers in my folder. A lot of them were information on the students on my floor. They all had detailed descriptions, except for one. Robert Hemmingway's information packet only held information about his appearance, none of the detailed histories all the other students had.

I wondered why his name seemed so similar. Then I realized it was because he was a new novice Stan had mentioned. That's why he didn't have a detailed description. Most of the other novices have been here pretty much since birth.

I sighed. Someone knocked on my door and I opened it to see a novice on the other side. "Guardian Alto regrets to inform you that he is too busy to meet with you today. He requests your presence in a meeting tomorrow at noon in the main office," the novice said formally.

I nodded. "Thank you," I told him sincerely.

I was grateful that Stan was busy. It was getting late, and I hadn't slept at all on the plane. Because there were no moroi at St. Vladimir's, they worked on a human schedule. It was only 8:00, but I was exhausted and I immediately fell asleep.

When I woke up the next morning, my clock read 11:45.

Crap. Stupid jetlag. I rushed to get ready for my day. I arrived at the main office at noon and waited for Stan.

While I was waiting, a boy walked in. He looked terrified and I figured he was a new student. I thought I had seen Stan escort him, but he had disappeared.

The student was looking around nervously. I wondered if this was Robert. Only one way to find out. "I'm Dimitri Belikov," I told him holding out my hand.

"I'm Ros… Robert Hemmingway," he said. Odd, I wonder what he was going to say.

I completely forgot what I was just thinking when he grabbed my hand and shook it. A strange electricity coursed through me and I immediately dropped his hand. I looked into his startled dark brown eyes. This is not good.


	6. Chapter 6

Dimitri's POV

I was spared whatever awkward conversation may have followed when Stan walked into the room. He shot Robert a look of intense dislike, which Robert returned. Interesting. I wondered how they knew one another. Robert had his luggage with him, so he couldn't have been here for more than a couple of minutes. I wondered what happened.

Robert shot him a look of hatred. "It's rude to stare Guardian Alto," he spat out, his words dripping with scorn.

Stan just returned his hate-filled look and turned to me. "Guardian Belikov, if you will please follow me," he said. He led me into his office.

"I am giving you the difficult task of training Mr. Hemmingway," he said, a frown still on his face. "I contacted his old school. The headmaster of the school was very… strange. He refused to let me call him anything but Abe. He said last names weren't important." Stan paused, lost in thought.

I looked at Stan confused. His previous headmaster sounds crazy. Stan shook his head to clear it. "The way he spoke, makes me think Robert got away with a lot at that school. Robert is undisciplined and will need a lot of training to catch up to the rest of the novices. Even though he is a junior, we placed him on your floor of the senior novice dorms that way you will be able to train him and discipline him more efficiently," he explained. A cruel grin spread across his face at the mention of discipline.

"You will meet with Robert for extra training for two hours before school and two hours after school. You will work on combat, conditioning, and weight training, as well as anger management, control, and patience. I have my doubts about Robert being a successful guardian, but if anyone can change that, it would be you. I've heard a lot about you and your abilities."

I nodded to show I understood. "You will also be required to take a four hour shift walking around campus. We have arranged for your shift to start at 5:00 and go until 9:00. You will also be in charge of these classes during the school day. You will teach one defensive strategies class. All the information is in here," he said as he handed me a packet.

I nodded to him as I briefly looked through the packet. "You may go," he told me. I was a little surprised that that was it. I had only been with him for about fifteen minutes. But guardians always did things as quickly and efficiently as possible.

When I stepped out of his office, I found myself sitting down for moment to think about what I was going to do. I hadn't anticipated this odd connection I would feel to Robert. This complicates things. There was nothing wrong with trusting my student, I tried to argue with myself. Then I thought about the heat that had spread through me.

I shook my head. I am looking way too much into this. Just because his hand felt warm, doesn't mean anything. He is my student nothing more. I briefly thought to my mother. She would disown me.

I shook my head to clear it and put my head in my hands. I was looking into this too much. Maybe I imagined it, the heat I felt. And even if I didn't, it didn't matter, it didn't mean anything. I didn't hear anyone approach me, which was bad for a fully trained guardian.

I felt someone's hand on my shoulder. From the heat that passed between us, I knew who it was.

"Are you alright?" He asked, concern in his voice.

I nodded. "Just stressed. I just got this job," I explained. It wasn't a lie. I was stressed. Even though my sentence implied it was about the job, I never actually said it.

I finally looked up into his eyes. I saw from the look he gave me, he wasn't buying it, but he wasn't going to bug me about it.

Without saying another word, he turned and struggled with his luggage. I realized we may have to spend a lot with strength training.

"Do you want help?" I asked him. I don't know why I felt such a need to help him.

He nodded. "They're not that heavy, but it's hard pulling two suitcases at once," he admitted.

I nodded and took one. We walked back to his dorm.

"Where are you from? I can't quite place your accent," he asked me curiously.

"Russia," I told him.

"Wow. That's got to be worse than Montana," he joked.

I smiled. "Russia isn't bad. It's where my family is. I was staying with them until I got this job," I told him.

"Then why'd you leave?" He asked me curiously.

I looked at him shocked. He was not one to avoid uncomfortable topics. I was about to give him one of my normal excuses when I caught the expression on his face. He really cared about whatever I was going to say.

I was surprised to find myself telling him the truth. "I was the guardian of Ivan Zeklos. He was one of my best friends. He was killed by Strigoi when I was visiting my family," I explained.

"And you blame yourself?" He guessed. How did he figure that out?

"If I had been there…" I started to say.

"You would probably be in a body bag with the other guardians," he cut me off. I looked at him surprised. "Zeklos is a royal name, which means he has at least two guardians on him at all times. If two guardians couldn't stop the Strigoi, I don't think you would have made much of a difference, no offense."

I just stared at him shocked. He looked back at me with knowing eyes. "But that doesn't entirely answer my question. Why'd you leave your family? It's obvious you don't blame them for Ivan's death," he said to me.

"I was with them for a while after Ivan's death. They were always watching me, waiting for me to break down or something," I admitted after a moment of silence.

He didn't respond to that. I could see him processing the information I told him. When we were outside his room, he finally spoke. "You know what I think?" He asked me.

I looked at him curiously. "What?" I asked.

"I think you were so upset about your friend's death that you felt like your family was watching you. I think you felt like you had to be strong for them and that more importantly, that you had to shut them out. So if they get hurt, it won't hurt you as much. You were afraid to mourn for Ivan, because then you knew they would comfort you and you couldn't handle getting closer to them," he said to me as he opened the door.

He left me standing in the hallway. My jaw was practically on the ground. How the hell did he figure that out?


	7. Chapter 7

Rose's POV

My hand was still tingling after my encounter with Dimitri. Before either of us could say anything, Stan walked in. He looked at me with extreme dislike, I returned the look.

I shot him a look of hatred. "It's rude to stare Guardian Alto," I said angrily.

Stan shot me a look of hate then turned to Dimitri. "Guardian Belikov, if you will please follow me," he said to Dimitri. Both of them walked away without looking back.

Once they were gone, the headmaster walked out of his office. "Mr. Hemmingway?" He asked. I nodded. "I am guardian Kirova. Headmaster of St. Vladimir's Academy," he told me, extending his hand.

I didn't take it. I figured I would let him know who he was dealing with. "That explains why you walked out of the headmaster's office. I'm glad you cleared that up, because I thought you were a student for a moment," I told him sarcastically.

I saw him struggle to remain composed. "Please come in," he said, he voice laced with anger.

I entered his office and looked around. I had a feeling I was going to be in here a lot. "Mr. Hemmingway. Welcome to St. Vladimir's Academy," he said with a fake smile plastered on his face. "First order of business. You will be living in one of the senior novice dorms." He looked through his desk for something.

"But I'm a junior," I told him confused. He found what he was looking for. It was a map of campus. He showed me where my dorm was located.

"Yes, but we felt it would be better for you to be in the same hallway as your mentor. Don't worry. You're roommate is a junior as well," he told me to reassure me.

"Roo… Roommate?" I asked, certain my ears had been deceiving me. Shit. I was screwed.

He nodded, oblivious to my anxiety. "Yes. We felt you would be most comfortable rooming with someone your age," he explained to me.

I would be more comfortable rooming by myself, but I didn't say that out loud. "The way the dorms are set up is you and four other rooms will share the same bathroom."

It took all of my self-control not to cringe. Me and nine guys… sharing a bathroom. These were going to be a long two years. "You mentioned I was going to have a mentor?" I asked him. I didn't want to hear anything else about my living arrangements.

He nodded. "You will be mentored for two hours before school and two hours after school. I understand your education at your last school was less than satisfactory, so we have assigned one of the guardians at the school to help you catch up with the rest of your classmates," he explained.

"Who?" I asked him. I had a feeling I already know.

"Guardian Belikov," he told me. Shit. I was totally screwed. I was beyond screwed.

The rest of the meeting passed in a blur. He gave me a schedule and told me some information about the school that I didn't listen to. When he finally told me I could go, I practically ran out of his room.

I was surprised to see Dimitri sitting in the main office lobby. His head was in his hands. He looked upset about something. I approached him cautiously.

"Are you alright?" I asked him, putting my hand on his shoulder. I felt warmth spread through me.

He nodded. "Just stressed. I just got this job," he told me. Something about the way he would make eye contact, made me think he wasn't entirely telling the truth.

But, I wasn't going to force it out of him. Without saying a word, I turn and started to try to pull my luggage one handed. It was not easy to pull two suitcases with one hand.

"Do you want help?" He asked me. I hated looking weak in front of him, but I was going to take forever if I continued like this.

I nodded. "They're not that heavy, but it's hard pulling two suitcases at once," I explained. I didn't want him to think I was weak.

He nodded and grabbed a suitcase. We walked back to my dorm room. While we walked, I tried to figure out what his accent was. I gave up and decided to just ask him. "Where are you from? I can't quite place your accent," I asked curiously. I loved his accent, but I wasn't about to tell him that.

"Russia," he told me.

"Wow. That's got to be worse than Montana," I joked.

He smiled. He thought my joke was funny. My heart fluttered a little bit when I thought of that. "Russia isn't bad. It's where my family is. I was staying with them until I got this job," he told me.

Something wasn't making sense. He clearly loved his family. "Then why'd you leave?" I asked him.

Dimitri looked at me shocked. I guess no one had outright asked him that question before. He looked like he was going to deliver one of his typical responses. I could just tell from the tired way he looked. It was going to use an excuse he has already used several times.

Then his expression changed. I knew he was going to tell me the truth. "I was the guardian of Ivan Zeklos. He was one of my best friends. He was killed by Strigoi when I was visiting my family," he explained

I could see the guilt in his eyes. It was killing him. "And you blame yourself?" I guessed.

"If I had been there…" he started to say.

"You would probably be in a body bag with the other guardians," I cut him off. He looked at me surprised. I wasn't sure if it was because I had been so abrupt or because I had cut him off. "Zeklos is a royal name, which means he has at least two guardians on him at all times. If two guardians couldn't stop the Strigoi, I don't think you would have made much of a difference, no offense."

He looked at me shocked. I wondered why no one else had thought to tell Dimitri this. I looked back at him. "But that doesn't entirely answer my question. Why'd you leave your family? It's obvious you don't blame them for Ivan's death," I told him.

"I was with them for a while after Ivan's death. They were always watching me, waiting for me to break down or something," he admitted after a moment of silence passed.

I didn't respond to that. I knew there was something else. Something he wasn't telling me. "You know what I think?" I asked him.

He looked down at me. "What?" he asked.

"I think you were so upset about your friend's death that you felt like your family was watching you. I think you felt like you had to be strong for them and that more importantly, that you had to shut them out. So if they get hurt, it won't hurt you as much. You were afraid to mourn for Ivan, because then you knew they would comfort you and you couldn't handle getting closer to them," I said as I opened the door.

I left him out in the hallway and closed my door behind me.


	8. Chapter 8

Rose's POV

My roommate was sitting on his bed reading a book. He had short black hair and crystal blue eyes. He looked up when I walked in and gave me a small smile. He stood up. "Hey man. I'm Christian Ozera," he told me.

"Robert Hemmingway," I told him shaking his hand.

"Hello Bobby," he said to me with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes. "It's Robert," I warned him.

"I don't know. I kind of like Bobby," he told me.

"Okay Chrissie," I said with a shrug.

He made a face. "Robert it is," he agreed.

I grinned at my small victory. I went over to my bed and plopped down my suitcases. I opened one and immediately started unpacking. Christian sat on my bed and talked to me while I was unpacking. He was sarcastic and snarky, just like me. When I had started on my second suitcase, Christian picked up the box that I had thrown by my end table.

"Why the hell do you have these?" He asked me confused.

I looked to see what he was holding. Shit. He was holding my box of tampons. I thought of the movie, She's the Man. That's what inspired me to try this. Well, I totally know how she felt when they discovered her stash of tampons. But I wasn't about to tell him they were for nosebleeds.

"I don't know," I said as I thought of a lie. "My older sister used this a couple weeks ago. I bet she just left them in there." I shrugged, hoping he would buy my lie.

It seemed like he did. He put them back down. "It must suck to be a girl," he said to me. He has no idea.

I shrugged. "I wouldn't know. But my best friend complains about it all the time," I told him without thinking.

"Who's your best friend?" He asked me. I could see he was just trying to be friendly.

"Vasilisa Dragomir," I told him honestly.

His jaw dropped. "You know her?" He asked shocked.

"I did just tell you she was my best friend," I pointed out with a smirk. "Someone's a little slow."

He rolled his eyes at me. "No one's as slow as you," he retorted.

I rolled my eyes at him. I could see that this is how we would be interacting. I didn't mind though. It reminded me of the banter me and my brothers passed back and forth so much. I caught myself immediately. I have to be careful. Very careful. I can't become too comfortable with Christian. It could ruin everything. I finished unpacking in silence and then pretended to read a book.

My first couple of weeks passed without any serious problems. There was a mishap here or there. I had a tendency not to react as a guy should react in certain situations.

One day, I was sparring with Mason during class and he kneed me in an area that would be VERY painful to a guy. I was so full of adrenaline; I forgot to play the part of a boy. It wasn't until Mason gave me a weird look that I realized my mistake. I immediately dropped to the ground, feigning extreme pain. He looked satisfied with that.

It was so difficult to keep up this charade, but I managed. I tried to avoid Dimitri as much as possible. I did not succeed. It wasn't so bad when he were in strict mentor-student roles, but so often after training, we would talk like we were friends. I knew I shouldn't let myself get close to him, but I couldn't help it. We had stolen moments where he would tell me about his family, or I would tell him about mine. I felt closer to him than I ever have to any other man. This was a problem for several reasons. One was that Dimitri thought I was a boy. Another was that he was my teacher. Still, I felt myself falling for him and I had no way of making myself stop. I could see he felt the same way.

One day during training, he told me a lot about his mom and her religious beliefs. I was shocked when he brought it up. Could he possibly feel the same connection to me that I felt to him? This was bad.

Other than those complications, for those first few weeks, my life was pretty uneventful.

One day after a particularly difficult training session, I returned to my dorm soaked in sweat. I usually am able to put off showering until 1:00 or 2:00 am, when I am sure every other guy in my hallway is asleep, but I knew I wouldn't be able to do that now. I grabbed my shower caddie and my towel and headed to the bathroom. It wasn't until I was already in the shower that I realized I forgot to grab some clothes.

I couldn't put back on my dirty clothes, that would be gross. I got out of the shower and wrapped the towel securely around me.

I peeked out the door of the bathroom to make sure no one was in the hallway. When the coast was clear, I ran to my bedroom. When I got inside, I breathed a sigh of relief. Christian wasn't here. I quickly dressed in shorts and a tank top while I figured out what I wanted to wear.

That's when Christian decided to grace me with his presence.

His eyes practically popped out of his head when he took in my appearance.

I didn't think he would buy my excuse about man boobs. "Shit," I said. I was screwed.


	9. Chapter 9

Dimitri's POV

I stared at his door for several minutes after he closed the door. I couldn't believe what he had just told me. How had he known me that well?

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. I walked to my room, my mind stuck on Robert's words. I've known him less than an hour and already he knows me so well. Ivan was my best friend and even he would not have been able to read me like Robert does, especially in that short amount of time.

As I looked around my room, I was desperately searching for a distraction. I went over to my little bookshelf and picked up my favorite western.

Unfortunately, even that could not distract me. I spent hours trying to figure out the mystery that is Robert. Finally around 11:00 I fell asleep.

For the next several weeks, I got to know Robert better. During training, we were purely professional, but afterwards, we would talk.

I've never felt like this about a man before… hell I've never felt like this about a woman either. I didn't know what was going on. It was something I struggled to come to terms with. My mother's beliefs were too firmly ingrained in me. She had always told us that to be attracted to the same sex was a sin. It never really applied to me, so I never really cared.

But now? It's personal. I don't know what Robert and I are, but it's more than friends. I can see it in the way he blushes when we touch and the way he looks at me like I can do no wrong. I know my mother would say it was wrong, but it feels so right to me. How can I deny my feelings when I feel so strongly about this.

I constantly had to remind myself that he was my student. It wasn't appropriate.

I knew how I felt. I knew that with every conversation, I fell harder for him. It was hard, so hard.

A dream I had one night, has stuck with me.

I was running. I was running fast and I was running hard. I ran straight into a clearing.

I looked around, trying to figure out where I am. I heard a twig snap behind me. I spun around to see my mother standing there. She had a huge smile on her face.

"Mom?" I asked as I took a step towards her. Then I heard something move behind me.

I turned to see Robert. He was about the same distance away from me that my mother was.

My mother spoke first. "It's me or him," she told me. She said 'him' like it was a dirty word. "I will not have a gay son."

"Mom," I said. That's all I said to her. Her words hurt. I turned to the person I knew would be able to comfort me.

I turned to Robert. "Be happy Dimitri. That's all that matters. And if you're happy with your family then go with them," he said to me. His voice was ringing with sincerity. He wouldn't blame me if I chose my mother. He was leaving it up to me.

A story from our religion, came back to me. The story of King Solomon. Two women came before him with a baby. They both claimed to be the baby's mother. So the king told them he would cut the baby in half so each could have one half. My mother, was accepting that, but Robert wasn't. He was telling me he wasn't go to split me in half.

I took a step towards him. "I can't be happy without you. I love you," I told him sincerely. A smiled spilled across his face.

I looked back at my mother. "Dimka," she said with tears in my eyes.

"This is who I am. I'm not going to hide it anymore," I told her. And I meant it. I wasn't going to deny my feelings anymore.

Then she disappeared. I turned back to Robert who was looking at me with tears in his eyes. "You chose me?" He asked.

I nodded and ran right up to him. "I love you," I told him.

"I lo-"

BEEP-BEEP-BEEP

I was distracted all during our morning practice. Robert had managed to outrun me on the track and when we had started sparring, he managed to pin me to the ground a couple of times. On the third or fourth time he had me pinned, he got off of me, but he didn't return to his offensive position.

"Everything alright?" Robert asked me, concern evident in his eyes.

"Yeah. Just my mother. She can be a little too much sometimes," I told him.

"Will you tell me about your mother?" He asked me curiously.

So I did. I told him everything. I put so much emphasis on her religious beliefs. I saw his eyes turn thoughtful and confused when I told him that. And I thought I saw a bit of hope in there. I refused to look into it too much. I was probably seeing hope because I wanted to see hope.

Robert helped me by listening. He asked questions when it was appropriate to. He wasn't like most guys. I could tell him how I was feeling without having sarcastic comments thrown my way. Not that he wasn't snarky and sarcastic, but he knew when to be serious.

I was really starting to believe he returned my feelings. But every time we got close, he would put distance between us. He was hiding something from me. It was something that was killing him to keep from me. I can see it, but I cannot figure out what it is. I can only hope it is something he will tell me in time.

I think I need to stop obsessing over Robert so much, but I can't help it. I love him.


	10. Chapter 10

Rose's POV

Christian just stared at me. He shot the door behind him and stared at me. It wasn't the I'm checking you out kind of stare; it was the you can't really be a girl stare.

At least thirty minutes had to have passed as he just stood at the door and stared at me.

Then I, in true Rose Hathaway fashion, sat on my bed and smiled at him. "Hey Christian. What's new?" I asked him innocently.

"You're… You're a girl," he said to me. He was still too shocked to form a coherent statement.

"Thanks Einstein. I couldn't have figured that out myself," I told him sarcastically.

That snapped him out of his haze. "This explains the tampons," he muttered to himself.

I couldn't help myself. I burst out laughing. He looked at me like I was crazy, and maybe I was. "You just found out that for the past two months I've been a girl pretending to be a boy and you're worried about tampons?" I asked in between giggles.

Christian started laughing too. "I guess it's easier to think about tampons than the fact that I've been sleeping in the same room as a girl," he admitted.

"You… you won't tell anyone will you?" I asked him anxiously.

"I don't know," he told me sincerely. "It depends…"

"On…" I asked.

"Why you're doing this," he told me.

I took a deep breath. "Well. I've always wanted to be a guardian. It's not like I can just show up here as a girl. Queen Tatiana has made sure of that," I said. I said Queen Tatiana like it was a curse. "Like I told you when I first met you. Lissa is my best friend. I've always protected her from the people that have been mean to her. No one messes with Lissa, because they know they'll have to deal with me if they do. Ever since I was a little girl, I always dreamed of being a guardian and protecting Lissa. If I need to be a man to do so, then so be it. I'll be a man!"

Christian just stared at me. "You're doing this so you can be a guardian?" He asked me uncertainly.

"I wouldn't expect you to understand," I said bitterly. "You've never been deprived of anything. In our world men are allowed to do anything they want, be anything they want. I don't want to be the girl that can't be a guardian and is forced to marry a moroi to further her race. That's not the future I've ever wanted. That's not a future I will ever want! I just want the right to be my own person.

"That's not something I'm allowed to do though and it isn't fair. I've had to watch my brothers go to school and train to be guardians. I've got to see them live the lives they want to. My second oldest brother didn't want to be a guardian. That was fine with everyone. He got to make the choice. Why can't I be granted that same privilege?" I asked.

Christian just stared at me shocked. "I've never thought of that before," he admitted.

"That's because you've never had to. You're here because you think Strigoi are scum and because you want to protect moroi right?" I asked him. He nodded. "Well that's exactly why I'm here!"

"But… You could have such an easy life. Why would you trade it all for a life of secrets, lies, and fighting?" He asked. He was really trying to understand.

"You don't get it do you?" I asked him bitterly. "You say I can have an easy life, but I don't want an easy life if I can't be happy. I don't want to have an easy life if it means being married to a man I don't love and having his children. I don't want to have an easy life if it means I don't get to protect my best friend. I don't want an easy life. I want a happy life. Is that too much to ask for?" I asked pleadingly. I didn't realize until then how much I wanted him to understand. How much I wanted him to accept me. I've come to regard Christian as a brother and as much as I may deny it, I care about what he thinks.

A long silence stretched out before us.

"No it's not," he finally said. "I'm not saying I completely understand, but I'm not going to tell anyone. I promise."

I ran over to Christian and gave him a hug. "Thank you!" I breathed to him. "You have no idea how much this means to me."

When we broke apart, Christian looked me in the eye. "You know, before I knew you were a girl, I had come to regard you as a brother. That's changed now," he told me.

I dropped my head. I knew I had damaged our relationship. "I'm sorry. I should have told you before. I understand if you hate me," I told him.

He lifted my head up so I had to look at him. "No. I don't hate you. What I was going to say is now, I think of you like a sister," he told me sincerely.

I grinned at him. "You're like a brother to me," I told him. "Not that I don't have enough, but I've never been able to talk to my brothers like I talk to you. It's nice."

He smiled. Then his smile disappeared and he frowned. "What's your real name?" He asked me.

"Rose," I told him quietly.

"Well Rose. Where does your family think you are?" He asked.

"They have no idea where I am. They probably don't even care. My mother was probably more worried about how I ruined my wedding day then she was that I went missing," I told him bitterly. But I knew it was true.

"Wedding day?" He asked curiously.

"I was supposed to marry this moroi from my town. I didn't love him though. And I wasn't a person to him. I was a dhampir that would have to bend to his will. I couldn't stand the thought of that. It's one of the reasons I ran away," I admitted. "The day I left, me and my mother got into a huge fight. I tried to get her to understand that I didn't want to marry Adrian. That didn't matter to her though. She expected me to marry him so I would have to marry him. I left right after that."

I started tearing up at the memory. "These past two months can't have been easy for you," he said to me.

I gave him a watery smile. "You have no idea," I told him.

"Then tell me about it," he challenged.

And I did. I told him everything. I told him about the challenges I faced pretending to be a boy. I told him about some of my slip ups. I even told him about Dimitri. We talked for hours that night. It was nice. Christian really was like a brother to me and I knew I could trust him. Though I don't know how welcome his advice was. He told me I should tell Dimitri the truth and I can't do that.

If I tell Dimitri the truth, he would hate me. I can't bear the thought of him hating me, because I love him.


	11. Chapter 11

Rose's POV

The day after Christian found out I was a girl, Dimitri was subbing for our strength and conditioning class.

We were running laps around the track and it was hot out. After the second lap, I was the only person that still had their shirt on. For obvious reasons, I refused to take it off.

"Come on Robert," Mason teased. "Why won't you take your shirt off?"

"I don't want to make you jealous with my amazing body," I retorted.

Mason cocked his head and looked at me. "I know you don't have a body liked this," he said gesturing to his abs. He has no idea how right he is about me not having a body like that. "But that's no reason to keep your shirt on. You must be dying."

"Nope. I feel fine," I told him. This was a lie. I was dying, but I was used to it. I always wear a shirt when training.

Mason rolled his eyes. "That's why your sweating buckets," he told me rolling his eyes.

"Come on Rosie, take off your shirt," Christian teased.

"I know you really want to see my chest Chrissie, but no can do," I said to him. We both cracked up laughing at our joke. No one thought anything of him calling me Rosie, because we both called one another girl names. When we didn't stop laughing, they started to give us good looks.

"No one wants to see your chest Rosie," he said to me when he had calmed down a little.

"No one wants to see yours either Chrissie. So why don't you cover up?" I asked jokingly.

He rolled his eyes and mock punched me. I punched him back and pretty soon we were fighting one another in the middle of the track. The rest of the novices gathered around us to see who would win. Unfortunately, it didn't get that far. Dimitri, who had been running ahead of us, realized we weren't following him anymore. He doubled back and when he saw Christian and me fighting, he pulled us apart.

Christian and I were laughing the whole time. "Great fight Chrissie. Maybe if you keep training, you won't get beat up so badly," I told him jokingly.

"Keep dreaming Rosie. I was winning and you know it. If Belikov hadn't broken us apart, well it wouldn't have been long," he said with a smile.

"This is entirely inappropriate," Dimitri scolded. "One of you could have seriously hurt the other."

"Relax Comrade, we had it under control," I told him.

He was clearly about to argue when a strange expression came across his face. "Get back to running," he ordered everyone. Once they were a decent distance away, he turned to me. "Comrade?" He asked.

"Yeah, because you're from Russia and all," I told him. I was desperately trying to figure out if a guy would call him Comrade. I mean Christian calls me Rosie and I call him Chrissie. No one bats an eyelash at that one.

I saw Dimitri look at me curiously, but he didn't say anything. Then he started running with me. Pretty soon, we caught up with the other guys.

"Still not going to take your shirt off huh Robert?" Mason's best friend, Eddie asked.

"Nope. Sorry Castile. Allergic to the sun you know," I told him.

Everyone here knew that wasn't true, so they just assumed I was joking.

"How come you waited until today to be allergic to the sun?" Mason asked with a grin.

"Oh you know. I wasn't as mad at the sun on all the other days," I told him. Of all the novices, Eddie, Christian, and Mason were definitely my favorites.

"If you're so mad at the sun, why don't you take your shirt off?" Eddie asked.

"You got a burning desire to see me shirtless, don't you Castile?" I asked him jokingly.

"Of course I do, you caught me," Eddie retorted. I saw Dimitri stiffen in my peripheral vision.

I looked at him curiously. He looked like he was at war with himself. I made a mental note to ask him about it later. In the meantime, while we finished our laps, I brainstormed ideas.

Could it be that he wanted to see me with my shirt off? But no that can't be. He thinks I'm a guy. But what if our connection is so strong he wants to be with me even though I'm a guy… er well pretending to be a guy. No. Not possible. But that would explain so much. What if Dimitri is interested in me even if I am a guy? It would mean he feels as strongly for me as I do for him. But what if he's always been interested in guys? What if he doesn't care for me anymore if he finds out I'm a girl?

I quickly shook my head to clear it. I just assumed he had feelings for me. Why would he though? He's practically a God. I'm just a scrawny boy in his view. But what if I'm not? What if I'm more than that?

Why oh why does my life have to be so complicated. I want to be a guardian? I have to pretend to be a man. I fall in love? The guy I fall in love with thinks I'm a fucking man! This sucks. This is beyond suckish. It's even beyond shitty. I don't know what word describes it, but it's not a good one.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by Dimitri ordering us to do various stretches.

I suddenly heard Christian gasp. Everyone turned to him. "Sorry. I think I pulled a muscle in my leg. Can Robert help me back to the changing room so I can get some ice on it?" He asked.

Dimitri nodded.

I looked at Christian confused, but complied. He positioned himself oddly so that he was not leaning entirely on my shoulder, but also on my back.

When we rounded a corner so we could no longer be seen by our group, Christian stopped leaning on me. He was walking fine. "What was that about?" I asked him annoyed. Why did he pretend to be hurt?

"I had to get you out of there before everyone else," he told me.

"What? Why?" I asked him confused.

He turned red and didn't look at me. "Rose. Is it by any chance… you know… your uh… time of the month?" He asked.

I quickly did the mental calculations. "Yeah. It should be coming in a few days. Why?" I asked obliviously.

"I don't think it's coming in a few days," he told me, pointing to my shorts.

I looked at him horrified. When we got to the locker room, I quickly grabbed a tampon and an extra pair of shorts from my locker. I went to the bathroom and changed.

When I went back to my locker, Christian was sitting there. "Thank you," I told him sincerely. "I would have been screwed if anyone found out."

"You keep tampons in your locker in a boy's locker room?" He asked surprised.

"You're right. Let me go put them in the girl's locker room," I said sarcastically.

"Touché," he admitted.

I grinned at him as I shoved everything back in my locker. I grabbed my bloody shorts. "I'm going to run back to our dorm real quick. Tell them I went to get something to help you with your pain," I ordered him.

"Hurry back and maybe I won't have to lie," he said. "I can just have a miraculous recovery."

I rolled my eyes. I was so lucky to have Christian right now.


	12. Chapter 12

Dimitri's POV

I got a phone call around midnight. It woke me up. "Hello?" I asked a little grumpily.

"Belikov?" I heard Stan's voice on the other end.

"Yes?" I asked.

"I need you to sub for Emile's strength and conditioning class tomorrow. He just came down with the flu, so he can't do it," Stan told me.

"Okay," I said tiredly. "Second period, right?"

"Yep," he told me. Then he hung up.

I immediately fell back asleep. When I woke up I went to training with Robert, then waited in the gym through first period. When the students came in for their strength and conditioning class, I was secretly pleased to see Robert was in this class.

I had decided I was just going to make them run laps. I ran ahead of them, periodically checking behind me to see that they weren't slacking. They traded banter like any teenage boy would. I started paying attention when they started teasing Robert.

"Come on Robert," Mason teased. "Why won't you take your shirt off?" I looked behind me to see all the boys had taken off their shirts, except Robert.

"I don't want to make you jealous with my amazing body," he retorted.

I'll bet he does have an amazing body. I wondered why he wouldn't take his shirt off. He never seemed shy to me, but maybe he is a little self-conscious. That would be understandable. But still, surrounded by other boys with their shirts off, he really didn't have anything to be self-conscious about. Unless, he didn't want to take it off in front of me. Maybe he's embarrassed to reveal that much to me. I dismissed that thought from my mind.

I was so caught up in my thoughts; it took me a while to realize I couldn't hear their banter anymore.

I looked back and saw Robert and Christian fighting. I felt a brief flare of fear. Robert could get hurt. I swear if Christian hurts him… I had to calm myself down. Once I was sure I wasn't going to kill Christian, I ran over to them and broke them apart. They were both laughing hysterically.

"Great fight Chrissie. Maybe if you keep training, you won't get beat up so badly," Robert told Christian jokingly. They did this for fun?

"Keep dreaming Rosie. I was winning and you know it. If Belikov hadn't broken us apart, well it wouldn't have been long," Christian said with a smile. I was sure Christian knew Robert would have won. What's with the Rosie and Christian thing? I guess it's something they picked up being roommates.

"This is entirely inappropriate," I scolded. "One of you could have seriously hurt the other."

"Relax Comrade, we had it under control," Robert told me.

I was about to tell him accidents happen. I was about to tell him one of them could get seriously hurt, then I processed his words. Comrade?

I turned to the rest of the group. "Get back to running," I ordered them.

When they were too far away to hear me I turned back to Robert. "Comrade?" I asked him curiously.

"Yeah, because you're from Russia and all," he explained to me. He looked lost in his thoughts, like he thought he did something wrong. I felt my stomach knot up at the idea that he cares what I think about. I wanted to tell him I loved his nickname. I wanted to tell him how I felt, but I realized I was in the middle of a class right now.

Without a word, we both started running. It didn't take long until we had caught up with the rest of the guys. I ran with the group this time, making sure no more fights broke out this time.

"Still not going to take your shirt off huh Robert?" Eddie asked.

"Nope. Sorry Castile. Allergic to the sun you know," Robert told him.

I grinned slightly to myself. Everyone knew Robert wasn't allergic to the sun.

"How come you waited until today to be allergic to the sun?" Mason asked with a grin.

"Oh you know. I wasn't as mad at the sun on all the other days," she told him.

"If you're so mad at the sun, why don't you take your shirt off?" Eddie asked.

"You got a burning desire to see me shirtless, don't you Castile?" Robert asked Eddie jokingly.

"Of course I do, you caught me," Eddie retorted. I stiffened slightly at his words. Did he really mean them? Glancing at him, I realized he was joking. He was just that type of a person.

Did I just get jealous? I have no right to be jealous. Robert is my student. He should be able to date whoever he wants to.

I internally sighed to myself. The last thing I thought I would have to deal with at an all-boys school is relationship drama. Yet here I am. While we ran, I glanced over at Robert. He looked lost in thought.

I wondered what he was thinking about. Could he be thinking about me? I wanted to believe that so badly. But I knew he had no reason to be thinking about me. I'm just an anti-social guardian. When he looks at me, he probably sees a loner, someone that isn't to be bothered with.

When we finished our laps, I ordered everyone to do some cool down stretches. In the middle of one of the stretches, I heard Christian gasp.

Everyone turned to him. I swear I saw his eyes flit to Roberts butt. Stop, I order myself. Now I'm getting paranoid. "Sorry. I think I pulled a muscle in my leg. Can Robert help me back to the changing room so I can get some ice on it?" Christian asked.

I looked at him thoughtfully for a moment. Why Robert? I realized it was probably just because they were roommates. It was natural that he would trust Robert.

I nodded to give my consent. He positioned himself, so he was leaning more on Robert's back then his shoulder. I brushed it off, assuming that was because Robert was so short. They walked away and they never came back to the lesson. I led the rest of the class to the weight room. I went to the locker room to check on them. I saw Christian sitting down with his leg propped up on a seat. Something bothered me about the way he was sitting.

"How's your leg?" I asked him.

"It hurts a little bit. Robert went to get something to help with the pain," he told me. I nodded.

I wasn't surprised. Robert was thoughtful like that.

It wasn't until the end of the day when I was waiting for Robert to come to our after school session that I realized what was wrong with the picture in the locker room.

When Christian had walked away, he was limping on his other leg. Not the one he had propped up on the bench. Something was going on and I think it has something to do with Robert.


	13. Chapter 13

Rose's POV

I was walking to my after-school practice session with Dimitri. I was going to do it. I was going to tell him the truth. I was going to tell him I was a woman and I was going to tell him how I felt about him. I realized I loved him too much to keep this from him. He deserved to know the truth.

When I walked in the gym, I saw him sitting on the floor. He had a similar expression to the one he wore while we were running. He looked like he was at war with himself.

When I walked in, the expression disappeared. He looked pretty happy to see me. I decided I was going to tell him after practice. I rationalized that I might get kicked out of school after this, I might as well get one last practice out of it. But the truth was, I wanted to be able to run away like a coward if he didn't take it well.

"So what's on the agenda today?" I asked him.

"I figured we would start with hand to hand combat," he told me.

While we stretched, I talked to him. I wanted to know why he seemed so conflicted. "So what's with the pained expression Comrade?" I asked him.

He looked at me confused. "Huh?" He asked.

"You look like you're at war with yourself," I explained.

"Oh… I'm just thinking," he said evasively.

I looked at him and our eyes met. I had trouble looking away, but I caught what he wouldn't say. Was he thinking about me? Or was that just me, giving myself false hope? I looked away before I could do something stupid.

When we finished stretching, we pulled out one of the combat mats. We took our position on opposite ends of the mat. We circled each other, watching and waiting. He pinned me like fifty times before I managed to get him. But when I did, it was beautiful. I saw him throw a punch to my jaw. I ducked down and elbowed his stomach. This made him stumble backwards. I tackled him to the ground. He used his weight to push me over so he was on top of me. I punched him again and managed to roll him over. I used all of my body weight to hold him down.

He grinned at me to show me I won, but that's not what I was paying attention too. Now that the adrenaline from our fight had worn off, I realized that I was still lying on top of him. Our lips were inches apart. I was thinking about what it would be like to kiss him. Some of the remnants from our fight were still coursing through me. My body was craving him. I wanted to kiss him so badly. He was studying me as I was studying him.

Before I knew what I was doing, I leant down and kissed him. And boy, what a kiss it was. I think he was kissing it back, but I never had a kiss that felt like this. I have never felt anything like it. Electricity and heat passed through me. I assumed from his shivers, I was having the same effect on him.

Then I came back to my senses. He was my mentor. To him I was just a guy. How could I kiss him? He was going to be so mad. I quickly pulled back and jumped away from him. I took several steps back until my back hit the wall. I didn't look at him. "I'm sorry!" I told him panicked. I could have just screwed everything up over a stupid crush. Well if I'm honest, it's much much more than a crush.

But still. And I know I was planning on telling him, but I never actually thought I would do it.

"I'm not," he told me sincerely. I finally looked up into his face. That was a mistake. I saw his eyes were so filled with love and compassion.

"You're not?" I asked uncertainly. "But I kissed you. You're a man and I'm your student."

"I don't care about that," he said stubbornly.

I just stared at him. Could this really be happening? No I must be dreaming. I tried pinching myself, but I didn't wake up. This must be real then.

"Robert…" He started. He took a deep breath then walked closer to me. He grabbed my hands. "I love you," he told me, looking into my eyes. I felt like he could see into my soul.

Hearing his words, I thought my heart was going to burst. "I love you too," I told him.

Then he leaned towards him and pressed his lips to mine. He pulled me closer to him as the intensity of our kiss picked up. This time he was the one to break the kiss and it was so we could breath. He held me close to him.

After a moment, he pulled his lips back down to mine and I felt his hand move to my back. Then I felt him stiffen and he broke the kiss. I looked up at him confused. He was tracing something up my back to my shoulder. I glanced down to see what it was and I immediately took a step back. He was following the line of my bra strap.

Shit. I was so screwed. He stepped with me. Underneath my t-shirt, I was wearing my bra, a tank top, and all the cloth that covered my curves and ultimately hid the fact I was a girl. Without my t-shirt though, it was painfully obvious.

Dimitri started to lift up my shirt, and I didn't try to stop him. I knew he had to find out eventually. When he pulled my shirt off he just stared at me.

"Dimitri, I can explain!" I told him.

"Robert… You're a girl?" He asked me, his voice hollow.


	14. Chapter 14

Dimitri's POV

I sighed. I had spent the last twenty minutes trying to figure out what was going on with Christian and Robert and trying to convince myself I shouldn't care. It was no use though. No matter how hard I tried to avoid it, I cared a great deal too much.

When Robert walked in, I pushed all of those thoughts from my head. I was happy to see him. I was going to tell him how I felt about him. I was going to tell her the truth.

"So what's on the agenda today?" he asked me.

"I figured we would start with hand to hand combat," I told him. I would never tell him this, but I loved hand-to-hand combat, because it was an excuse for me to get close to him, physically.

Before we started fighting, we stretched. "So what's with the pained expression Comrade?" he asked me.

I looked at him confused. "Huh?" I asked. Did I look like I was in pain?

"You look like you're at war with yourself," he explained. I sighed to myself. Of course. I should've known Robert would figure it out. He figures out everything about me.

"Oh… I'm just thinking," I said evasively. I can't very well tell him I'm torn over the possibility that I'm gay now can I? Or maybe I can… I'm planning on telling him anyway. Better sooner rather than later.

We made eye contact and all coherent thought left my body. I couldn't have told him I had feelings for him even if I wanted to.

He looked away blushing. I loved his blush. When we had finished stretching, we pulled out the combat mat and took our positions. It was clear he was distracted by something. I pinned him every single time.

Then, we retook our position. I aimed a punch for his jaw. He saw it coming and ducked underneath it. He elbowed me in the stomach. I faltered back shocked. It was the first time he had been able to touch me all practice. Taking advantage of my stumbling, he tackled me. I was bigger and stronger, so I managed to flip him over. Just as I was about to pin him, he punched me.

He rolled over and used all of his body weight to hold me down. I lost the will to struggle. All that mattered was that I could feel Robert lying on top of me. His head was only a couple of inches from mine. It would be so easy to close that distance and kiss him.

Just as I imagined what it would be like to kiss him, he did it. He leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. I had never kissed someone like this before. Heat and electricity coursed through my body, causing me to shiver. I knew then I had made the right decision.

Too soon, Robert pulled apart. He looked appalled and embarrassed by what he had done. He jumped up and backed away until he hit the wall. "I'm sorry," he said to me.

Sorry? What does he have to be sorry for? He just gave me the most wonderful gift in the world.

"I'm not," I told him seriously. And I meant it. I wouldn't have taken that back for anything.

"You're not?" he asked me uncertainly. "But I kissed you. You're a man and I'm your student."

"I don't care about that," I said stubbornly. And I didn't. I had come to terms with this a while ago.

Robert just stared at me.

"Robert…" I started. I took a deep breath and cautiously walked closer to him. When I was standing right in front of him, I held his hands in mine. He didn't try to pull away. "I love you," I told him, looking into my eyes. I felt so relieved and happy to have finally admitted to it. That had been bothering me for weeks and I finally told him.

Robert gave me a huge smile. "I love you too," he told me. I thought I was going to explode with happiness.

I pressed my lips against his, basking in the feeling that came from our kisses. I pressed close to him. When we broke apart, it was because we were out of breath. I held him close to me.

After a moment, I kissed him again. I moved my hand to his back to press him closer to me. I immediately stiffened. I felt two straps on his back. one could be a tank-top, but the other… it didn't make sense. It's not possible. I followed the one strap up his shoulder. He looked where I was touching and took a step back, but I stepped with him.

I reached down and grabbed the bottom of his shirt. I knew he would stop me if he wanted to and he wasn't even trying.

I pulled off his shirt and just stared at him… or I should say her.

"Robert… You're a girl?" I asked lifelessly. I couldn't believe it.

I felt angry. Angry that she had lied to me. Angry that she hadn't told me sooner.

I also felt a sense of relief. I wasn't going to have to choose. I could be with her and still see my family. They would definitely approve of her.

But I was more angry then I was relieved. I wasn't going to let her think she was off the hook just yet.

"You lied to me!" I told her angrily.

"Well technically I didn't. You never asked me if I was a boy, you just assumed I was," she pointed out. "I could assume that you hate me right now, but if I don't ask, how will I know for sure. If I make that assumption, does that mean you lied to me." He paused. "Then again, it might be the truth at this point," he said sadly.

I looked at her. I wanted to comfort her, but I just couldn't. I needed time to think about this. So I made the most difficult decision of my life. I walked away.


	15. Chapter 15

Rose's POV

I barely got back to my dorm before the water works started. I cried and cried and cried. He walked away from me. I had known he would be mad, but in all the scenarios I pictured in my head, we had talked about it afterwards. Not once did I imagine he would walk away.

Christian walked in on me crying, and he held me while I cried myself out. Then he listened while I told him everything. When I had finished, he slapped me.

I just looked at him shocked.

"Are you an idiot?" He asked me annoyed. "Why the hell didn't you go after him?"

"I…" I started to say.

"Nope!" He interrupted. "No excuses. Now you dress like a girl and go talk to him. Now!" He ordered me.

I was too surprised to do anything but listen to him. I changed into sweatpants and a tank-top. It wasn't all that girly, but you could tell I was a girl in this outfit. I pulled on one of my baggy hoodies. It efficiently hid my curves.

Once I had walked out of my room, I pulled my hood up. I walked to Dimitri's room. I stood outside his door for several minutes before I got the courage to knock.

It was another minute before he opened the door. He didn't realize who I was at first, so I pulled down my hood. He looked like he wanted to close the door in my face. "Please. Please just let me talk to you," I begged him.

He sighed for a moment then stepped aside so I could enter his room. I walked in and immediately pulled off my hoodie. I turned to face him. I saw his eyes taking in every inch of my body.

"Why did you lie to me?" He asked coldly.

"I was scared," I whispered to him. "Even the first day we met, I knew I was falling for you. That wasn't something I could do. I figured it was safe to be a boy. I worked so hard to get to where I am. I was afraid if I told you the truth, that I was a girl and that I loved you, you would tell someone and I wouldn't be able to stay. I was terrified you wouldn't return my feelings. I gave up everything to go to this school. I left my home, my family, my friends… I left my whole life behind. I couldn't risk some guy ruining it. But then you became so much more than some guy and I became so scared you would hate me if you found out. I couldn't bear the thought of you hating me, because I love you so much," I told him through my tears.

"I'm so sorry that I lied to you Dimitri. I'm so, so sorry," I told him.

"Why did you do it? Why are you here, pretending to be a boy?" He asked me.

"Because if I came here as a girl, they wouldn't let me in," I told him.

He studied me. "But why do you want to be here?" He asked me.

"I don't want the life that's expected of me. I want to be a guardian. I want to be able to fight Strigoi and guard moroi. I want to do something useful with my life. Back at home, my parents wanted me to marry this moroi man. I had no feelings for him. I couldn't condemn myself to that life. I never wanted that life. I grew up with seven brothers and all I ever wanted to do was grow up and be a guardian like them. When I was told I couldn't, because I was a girl, well I didn't take it well. I decided to become a man," I explained to him.

He just sat on his bed and looked at me silently. "Look, I don't expect you to understand. Men get everything they want. They get the right to make a choice. Women? Our lives are decided for us. We don't get to choose who we marry. We don't get to choose whether or not we want a job. We're not treated like you and it's not fair!" I told him.

"I understand," he told me softly.

"How could you possibly understand?" I asked him bitterly.

"My little sister Viktoria feels the same way you do," I told her. "She wants to be a guardian more than anything."

Looking at him, I got the feeling he really did understand.

I felt all the more worse for not telling him the truth sooner.

"Dimitri I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you the truth. I understand if you hate me. I wou-" I started to say.

I was cut off by his lips on mine.

We shared a kiss and this one was different than all the others. This one was between two people with no secrets. When we broke apart, I pulled him close to me. "I couldn't never hate you," he told me sincerely.

Then he pulled back and looked at me. I couldn't tell what expression was on his face. "What's wrong?" I asked him. I thought for a moment he might have changed his mind and decided he really did hate me.

"I don't know your name," he admitted.

I almost laughed, but I caught myself in the last minute. "Rose," I told him softly.

"Rose," he said to me. He leaned in to kiss me again. "Roza."

"Roza?" I asked him curiously.

"It's your name in Russian," he explained.

I nodded and pulled back so I could look him in his eyes. "Dimitri, I love you," I told him.

"I love you too Roza," he told me. He leaned towards me for a kiss.

I spent that night in Dimitri's room. We didn't do anything. We spent the night talking and getting to know one another better. He agreed not to tell anyone the truth about me. I have never been happier. I feel like I finally have control of my life again.


	16. Chapter 16

Dimitri's POV

Everything changed after that night. She stayed all night, and I can honestly say it was the best night I've ever had.

She left briefly to change into practice clothes. Then she walked back to my room and we walked to the gym together. I was determined to stay in our strict student-mentor roles during training. I really didn't get what I wanted, but it didn't interfere with our work-out, so I didn't complain. I ran with her, enjoying the opportunity to talk with her more.

The strange thing about Rose is that we never seem to run out of things to talk about. It's amazing.

When we finished our twelve laps, we went back inside and did some strength training. I usually didn't join her when she was doing strength training, but like I said, everything changed.

When we had finished, we started doing cool-down stretches. She smelt herself and made a face. She had overexerted herself in her quest to impress me.

"Roza, what do you do about showering?" I asked her curiously. I knew she had to do it, but I always wondered.

"I try to do it at 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning. That way most of the senior novices are asleep," she admitted.

I pondered that for a moment. "That doesn't seem very convenient," I told her.

She just raised both her eyebrows at me. "I am a girl who's pretending to be a boy and you think my shower situation is inconvenient?" She asked amused.

I guess she had a point there. "What's the worst part?" I asked her.

"The worst part is constantly having to be on my guard. The littlest things can call attention to my differences. I don't talk like the other guys do. I hate the locker room chat, but if I don't BS my way through it, someone will see through me. It sucks to be constantly on the watch for yourself. I was prepared to give up everything to protect the moroi world. I was expecting that responsibility. I wasn't expecting the responsibility to myself I would have," she told me.

"I'm sorry. I wish I could make things easier," I told her.

"This, what you're doing right here. Just listening to me and offering your help. That's making this easier than you could possibly imagine," she told me.

I grinned at her. An idea popped into my head. "But maybe I could make it just a little easier," I told her. "You could shower in my room. I have my own bathroom so you wouldn't have to worry about other guys walking in on you. And I could leave while you're doing it," I suggested to her.

She giggled. "While I'm doing it? You make showering sound like something people don't do every day. And I don't mind if you're in the room. I would get dressed in the bathroom anyway Comrade," she told me. "You have no idea how helpful that could be! You would really let me shower in your room? You really don't mind?"

I grinned. "I'm glad I can do something, anything to help you," I told her.

"I'm glad you don't think it's awkward that I'm going to be showering in your room," she told me with a grin.

I laughed, I couldn't help myself. "I just found out you're a girl and you think your shower arrangements are weird?" I asked her. There was a little sarcasm in my tone.

She giggled. "I guess you might have a point there," she admitted grudgingly.

"So did you want to shower before class?" I asked her.

She looked at me and nodded. "No peeking though," she said teasingly. She kissed me and walked out of the gym.

I stared after her for several moments. Once she was out of eyesight, I sat down and tried to gather my thoughts.

It didn't work. I figured I might as well get used to the incoherency. I finally got up and walked back to my room. Rose was standing outside, impatiently tapping her foot. "How exactly did you expect me to get in your room Comrade?" She asked me snarkily.

In truth I hadn't even thought of that and it wasn't like I could just leave my door unlocked. There is really only one logical solution.

I grinned. "I'll give you the spare key," I promised her.

She blushed a little and I saw a smile play on her lips. She liked that idea as much as I did.

The second I had the door open, she ran inside to the bathroom.

When I heard the water turn on, I pulled out my cell phone.

I called a familiar number and I prayed she would answer. "Hello?" I heard a voice on the other end. I breathed a sigh of relief. It was her.

"Hey Vik," I said to her.

"Oh. Hello Guardian Belikov," she said formally.

"Drop the Guardian Belikov crap. Vik could you come visit me?" I asked her hopefully.

"Now why the hell would I do that?" She asked me bitterly.

"I have someone I would like you to meet. I think it would help you. She's one of my students," I told her.

"Why they hell would I want to meet one of your ungrateful students? How could that possibly help? Do you want them to talk to me? They couldn't poss… Did you say she?" She asked as if she couldn't believe her ears.

"Vik, please?" I practically begged. There was a long silence on the other end of the phone. If I couldn't hear her breathing, I would have assumed she hung up on me.

"I'll talk to mama and book the earliest flight out. I'll see you soon Dimka," then she hung up the phone.

I grinned to myself at her use of my old nickname. It's been years since she's called me that.

Suddenly, Rose was leaning over my shoulder. "You sure look happy about something," she said to me with a grin.

I shrugged. I didn't want to tell her anything until I knew for sure Viktoria was coming. "Well I have a beautiful girl in my room right now. What's not to be happy about?" I asked her.

"I knew it, beauty is all that matters to you," she said to me, rolling her eyes.

"You caught me. The only reason I love you is because of your looks," I told her dead seriously.

"I know I'm a really sexy man Comrade, but you flatter me," she told me, batting her eyelashes.

I laughed. I couldn't help myself. This whole thing was completely absurd. I saw her face drop a little when she studied me.

"What's wrong Roza?" I asked her concerned.

"It's just… I know I look hideous. And I know that you like me for who I am. Obviously because you loved me even when you thought I was a boy, but I just wish I could be pretty or look like I usually do. I could really use some make-up, and my old hair. I just want to look like a girl again," she admitted to me, refusing to look me in the eye.

I lifted her chin up so she had no choice but to look at me. "You are not hideous Roza. You don't need make-up or long hair. You are beautiful even without all of that," I told her. And I meant every word of it. I thought she was beautiful just the way she was. The fact that she cut off her hair and made all those changes actually made her more beautiful to me.

"These sacrifices you made. They don't make you look bad, they make you even more beautiful," I told her sincerely.

She looked at me and smiled. "You think I'm beautiful?" She asked uncertainly.

I looked at her and nodded. "So beautiful it hurts," I told her.

She hugged me close to her. "I love you," she whispered in my ear.

"I love you too," I whispered back. She leaned in and kissed me. I could get used to this.


	17. Chapter 17

Rose's POV

About a week after Dimitri found out I was a girl, I was heading to the gym for our before school work-out. He had told me he had a meeting with the school and that he was going to meet me in the gym instead of outside of his bedroom.

When I got there, he still wasn't there, so I began stretching.

He arrived about ten minutes later, his arm around a girl and joy prominent in his face.

I stiffened slightly when I saw the girl, but as I took in her features, I relaxed. She had to be related to Dimitri, they looked so similar.

Dimitri stopped walking when he saw me. He pointed to the girl with him. "This is my sister Viktoria," he said to me. "Vik, that's my student I was telling you about."

"It's nice to meet you," I said extending my hand.

"Did you trick me into coming here? What could he possibly help me with? You lied to me Guardian Belikov!" She told him bitterly. She said 'he' like it was something disgusting and the disrespect in her voice when she said Dimitri's guardian name was obvious.

"Vik, I swear I didn't lie to you. Just hear me out!" Dimitri pleaded.

Putting two and two together, I realized this must be Dimitri's sister that wanted desperately to be a guardian.

Viktoria stomped her foot. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't turn around and head back to the airport," she challenged him.

I saw that Dimitri was about to speak, but I gave him a look that told him not to say anything. He closed his mouth and nodded.

I pulled off my hoodie and stood before her in a tank-top and shorts. "Hi. I'm Rose Hathaway," I told her with a smile.

"Surprise!" Dimitri said with a smile.

Viktoria's jaw dropped. "You… You… You're… a… girl?" She asked as if she wasn't sure.

I nodded. I internally sighed. I guess no one was going to be able to form a coherent thought when they find out I'm a girl. I had to suppress my giggle when I realized that Dimitri and Viktoria's reactions were so similar. "I'm training to be a novice. You're brother had been giving me extra training to help me get caught up," I told her with a grin.

"Not that she needs it. She's one of the best novices in the place," Dimitri added with a proud grin.

I smiled back at him, feeling a burst of warmth from my pride.

"But… how?" She asked, still unsure of her eyes.

"Well. To the rest of the school, I am Robert," I explained to her.

"Well to the oblivious part of the school. Christian and I know," Dimitri pointed out.

"You only recently found out Comrade. You thought I was a boy until last week," I retorted. I stuck my tongue out at him.

"But I still figured it out in the end," he said triumphantly.

"Only because of my stupid bra strap. If I hadn't been wearing a bra, you still wouldn't know."

"That's not true. I'm pretty sure I would have figured it out if…" He stopped mid-sentence and glanced at Viktoria. "If you ever got hurt or something." He blushed a little.

I knew exactly what he was going to say. We were too attached now, romantically for it to remain a secret for much longer. "Keep dreaming Comrade," I told him jokingly.

I saw him roll his eyes. Viktoria watched the exchange between us quietly.

"Okay. What is going on between the two of you? I've never seen Dimka tease someone before. I don't think I've even ever seen him make a joke before," she said to me.

"Really? He's a regular comedian at school," I said slightly sarcastically.

Dimitri rolled her eyes. "What Comrade? I call them like I see them," I told him.

Dimitri muttered something under his breath in Russian. Viktoria giggled. "What did he say?" I asked her.

Dimitri looked horrified. "I don't think he realized that I would know what he was saying," Viktoria admitted to me.

"That doesn't answer my question," I pointed out to her.

"No, but it answers mine. Dimka, she's your student," Viktoria chastised.

"What the hell did he say?" I asked her annoyed.

"He said he wouldn't mind you seeing more of him and that he wouldn't mind seeing more of you," Viktoria told me with a giggle.

I raised my eyes at Dimitri who was pointedly not making eye contact with me. "I knew you wanted to see me with my shirt off when we were running that day," I said to him with a grin.

I could see he was about to mutter something in Russian, but after a glance at Viktoria, he decided not to.

"You know Comrade, secrets don't make friends," I told him pouting.

"I wasn't going to say anything," he lied. I could tell he was lying. Really he should have known better.

I rolled my eyes at him and turned to Viktoria. "So do you have any questions?" I asked her.

"Yeah. Have you two… You know… Kissed?" She asked wrinkling up her nose.

As an answer, I walked over to Dimitri and pulled his head down to mine. I gave him a quick passionate kiss. He pulled back too soon. "Does that answer your question?" He asked Viktoria with a twinkle in his eyes.

"Ew… Gross," Viktoria said making a face at us.

"Do you want to know something funny?" I asked her.

"Yeah!" She exclaimed with an evil gleam in her eyes.

"The first time he kissed me, he thought I was a boy," I said with an evil grin.

Viktoria's jaw dropped. Then she started laughing. She fell to the floor laughing. "You. Thought. She. Was. A. Boy. When. You. Kissed. Her. For. The. First. Time?" She managed to ask in between giggles.

"I tell you no lies," I told her happily.

"You will so pay for this in training after school," Dimitri threatened under his breath.

Ugh. School. "I don't know Comrade. I think I'm coming down with something," I told him as I fake coughed. "I think I'll have to take the rest of the day off."

I really wanted to be able to talk to Viktoria anyway.

Dimitri rolled his eyes and muttered something in Russian. I looked at Viktoria expectantly. She just started laughing again. "He said if it gives him a day off, then you can take a day off," she told me.

"Hey! That's not fair. I just want to be able to talk to Viktoria some more. Get to know her better," I told him sincerely.

He looked at me with the expression that made me feel like he was looking into my soul. Then he nodded. "I'll alert Guardian Kirova that you are not feeling well enough to attend classes today," he told me. "I'll see you afterschool."

He leaned down and gave me one last lingering kiss before he walked out of the gym. I looked back at Viktoria and grinned. This was going to be a fun day.


	18. Chapter 18

Rose's POV

Viktoria and I sat on Dimitri's bed, facing one another. We had spent a couple minutes on normal girl-talk before Viktoria started with the Spanish Inquisition.

"How did you do it?" She asked me, her eyes gleaming with interest.

"My father does a lot of illegal work," I admitted. "He makes fake ID's, birth certificates, driver's licenses, passports, school ID's, job transcripts, school transcripts, social security cards, pretty much anything you would need to create a new life."

"So he just did that for you? He didn't even tell your mother?" She asked me curiously.

"Well… Here's the thing," I started hesitantly. "My father doesn't live with my mother. I don't think my mother even knows that I know who my father is. One day when I had snuck out of my room to go on a walk, I ran into him. Literally. I looked at him and it was like looking into a mirror."

I remembered that day well. My mother had been yelling at me. Jesse Zeklos had 'accidentally' tripped and fallen into a giant mud puddle. Then, a bunch of eggs 'accidentally' fell on him. Really, I was the innocent victim here. Can my mother prove it was me that threw the eggs at him? No. Can my mother prove that I planted a thin piece of string between the barn doors so he would fall while leaving? No.

Just because I was the only one home, it had to be me. I mean, it was me, but I didn't appreciate that my mother immediately jumped to that conclusion. She didn't even want to hear me out. I feel that I reacted appropriately to Jesse not respecting my personal space boundaries.

When I told my mother that, she refused to believe me. "Lord Zeklos would never do anything so dishonorable," she said. "When are you going to grow up Rosemarie. You can't go inventing stories when something doesn't go your way."

I kid you not, she said that. So, I responded appropriately. I stomped back to my room, locking my door behind me and climbed out my window. I was walking, but I needed to get my anger out. I started to run and I ran straight into the strangest looking moroi man I ever saw. He was wearing a deep blue tux with a red and yellow striped tie. He had an earring in one of his ears. But that's not what I noticed. I noticed the hair on top of his head was the same exact color as mine. The eyes set in his face were the same shape, size, and color as mine. I knew the second I saw him that he was my father. I could see that he realized it to.

"Rose! Rose! Earth to Rose!" Viktoria called to me, effectively bringing me back to reality.

"Oh sorry. I zoned out for a minute. What did you want?" I asked her.

"I asked you what finally made you leave?" She asked me. Her eyes were burning into me with their intensity.

"My mother had arranged for me to marry this absolutely awful moroi man. He was always drunk and was always smoking these awful clove cigarettes. He didn't see me as a person, well no one did, not really. But he was worse. He used to try to drink from me. It was awful. I tried my hardest to get out of it, but I couldn't. There was no way I was going through with it, so I decided to leave," I explained to her. "I had been planning on leaving already, but that was the last straw. I had always wanted to be a guardian. From the moment I was five and I protected Lissa, my best friend, from her first bully, I knew that's what I wanted to do. I wanted to spend my life protecting her. Well, since I was leaving, my father arranged for me to be able to come here."

"What did you have to do?" Viktoria asked breathlessly. She was so caught up in my story.

"Well, obviously as I mentioned before, I had to get a whole new identity. Well, then I had to look the part. I had to buy all new clothes. I had to cut my hair," I told her. My hands instinctively reached for my low-cut hair. It had grown a little bit since I came to the Academy, but it was still so short.

"Was it long before?" She asked me curiously.

I nodded. "It went to about here," I told her, pointing to my waist. "I had spent years growing it out that long. It was one of the hardest things I had to do. I was able to accept giving up my family and my home. My parents were less than supportive and my brothers were away at school. My home had long since stopped being a home and had become a prison. It's hard. To step away from your life and try to live a new one. You have no idea. I have nothing that holds on to who I used to be. I gave up everything for this lifestyle, but I can't bring myself to regret it. It was the right decision for me."

I could see her absorbing my every word. "I don't know how you did it. I really want to be a guardian, but I don't think I would be able to make the sacrifices you made. I don't think I would be able to leave my family. I wouldn't be able to act like a boy," she admitted.

"It's hard," I told her honestly. "I've made a lot of slip-ups. The important thing, is playing it off like it's no big deal. If you do that, people think about your mistakes less and just think you're a quirky guy rather than a girl."

"What's the hardest part?" She asked.

"It's definitely being surrounded by guys all the time. I hate the locker room chat," I told her. "I really don't care who got laid and with whom. It's not something I need to know, but that is something on ever teenage boys mind. And no matter where I go here, there's a teenage boy. They're everywhere. It's impossible to escape them. It's really awkward sometimes. Some guys have no shame. They'll walk around the locker room, naked. Even in my hallway, some of the guys will walk back to their dorm rooms naked. You have no idea how many naked boys I have seen." I made a face at the memory. Viktoria giggled.

Unfortunately, Dimitri chose that moment to enter the room. And he looked angry.


	19. Chapter 19

Dimitri's POV

Once I left Rose in the gym, I headed straight to Stan's office. I knocked on his door.

"Come in," he called.

I walked in. He looked up and seemed surprised to see me. "Guardian Belikov. What can I do for you?" He asked me curiously.

"Sir, as you know my youngest sister flew in today so she would be able to spend some time with me. She has missed me a lot sir, and we have a lot of catching up to do. I know its last minute, but I was wondering if there is any way I can take the day off so I could talk to her? I would also hate to leave her alone in a dorm inhabited my teenage boys," I told him. I held my breath while I waited. I had no idea if he was going to agree to this.

Without answering, he picked up his phone and called someone, a replacement guardian hopefully. I didn't pay attention to his phone call. I was too busy, praying that I would be granted this day.

When he had hung up the phone, he turned to me. "You're in luck. Yuri has agreed to take your shifts. You shouldn't get in the habit of neglecting your duties for your family. You promised to protect the moroi world. Moroi need to come first. Even over your family," he warned.

I nodded and pretended I was taking his advice seriously. When he told me I could go, I practically ran out of the room. Once I was outside of his office, I breathed a sigh of relief. I had started to dislike Stan more and more as time progressed and what he just said? Well that struck a nerve. Stan knows about Ivan and what happened to him while I was visiting my family. He said that to get to me. He was out of line. I have been the model guardian since I got my job here at the Academy, so I never understood what Rose was saying about how much of an asshole Stan was. Now I got it.

The only thing that brightened my sudden bad mood was the thought of being able to spend my day with Rose and Viktoria. I went to the novice dorm that we lived in. I went to check Rose's room first. They weren't there, but I hadn't really expected them to be there. I went straight to my room next.

Sure enough, I could hear voices on the other side of the door. As I opened the door, I heard Rose say, "You have no idea how many naked boys I have seen."

I felt myself stiffen. Rose turned to see me with a smile on her face, but when she was my expression, he smile began to drop. I knew she was studying me, but I didn't care. How could she have lied to me? To have seen so many naked boys, she had to be romantically involved with them. Right? She had insisted that she had never been in a relationship before. She had told me that the closest she had ever come to being with a guy is when the Zeklos her mother tried to set her up with, tried to touch her. She had promised me, but she had lied. It made my bad mood all that much worse.

I could see the lightbulb go off in her head as she realized why I was so upset. "You know Comrade. You really shouldn't jump to conclusions," she told me teasingly.

I was to upset for that though. When I didn't even crack a smile, her amused look turned worried.

"Listen Dimitri. Viktoria was asking me what the hardest part of being a boy was. I was explaining to her that guys have no shame," She wrinkled her nose in disgust. I rolled my eye. She's the one saying guys have no shame. Typical. "In the locker room, or even walking from the bathroom to their dorm, I've seen so many guys who are okay walking around el naturale."

I studied her for a minute. I could tell she was telling me the truth and I visibly relaxed. "I'm sorry for doubting you. I was just in a meeting with Stan, and…" I trailed off. "You were right you know. Stan is a royal ass."

Rose stood up and cautiously approached me. "Dimitri…" She started hesitantly. "What did Stan say?"

I was fighting to hold back tears. "Nothing… It's nothing," I lied.

"Dimitri," she said, giving me a look that told me she wasn't buying it.

I knew there was no point in avoiding it. She would get it out of me soon enough. "He told me that moroi have to come first. Even before my family," I told her quietly.

Viktoria looked at me confused, but I saw Rose understood. She always did. She walked right up to me and wrapped her arms around me. It didn't matter that I was so much bigger than her that her arms couldn't even reach all the way around her waist. I melted into her embrace. I couldn't hold back my tears.

She helped me walk back to my bed, then laid down beside me, wrapping me in her arms once more. She let me cry into her shoulder. I cried for Ivan being dead. I cried for the two guardians that died protecting him. I cried, knowing I might have been able to save him if I hadn't gone home. For the first time since Ivan died, I allowed myself to mourn him. I cried until I didn't have any more tears to cry.

Viktoria sat in a chair in the corner of the room, watching me with concern in her eyes as she waited out the water works. I couldn't look at her, she only made me feel worse.

Rose was whispering into my ear. She kept telling me it wasn't my fault and that I can't blame myself for what happened. "Blood is thicker than water," she told me at one point. I needed to be there for my family. I knew what she was saying was true, and it helped me calm down a lot.

Once I had finished crying, I turned to Rose. "I'm sorry," I told her. I hated looking weak in her eyes.

"I'm not," she told me sincerely. Woah déjà vu, to the first time we kissed. I think that's exactly how our conversation started. "You needed to mourn for him properly. You shed a few tears when he died, then a few more when you first told me about him, but this is the first time you let yourself come to terms with his death."

I thought about what she said, and I was surprised to realize she was right. I had finally accepted Ivan's death.


	20. Chapter 20

Rose's POV

"I'm sorry," he said to me. I could hear real remorse in his voice. I realized it wasn't from crying in front of me. It was from looking weak in front of me.

"I'm not," I told him seriously, echoing the words he said to me the first time we kissed. "You needed to mourn for him properly. You shed a few tears when he died, then a few more when you first told me about him, but this is the first time you let yourself come to terms with his death." I know that what I said is right. I could see it while he was crying. He was finally coming to terms with Ivan's death. He hasn't given himself the chance to accept what happened, and acknowledge his guilt.

I watched him as he processed my words. I saw realization come across his face. He finally saw what I saw the moment he stopped crying.

"Thank you," he said softly. He leaned in and kissed me. The kiss picked up in intensity, and I pressed myself closer to him. He brought his hand to the back of my head.

We would have probably gone a lot further than kissing if Viktoria hadn't cleared her throat. I had honestly forgotten she was still in here.

"Dimka?" She asked hesitantly.

Dimitri took a deep breath, stood up, then turned to Viktoria. "Dimka, I'm so sorry!" She said to him. She ran to him and threw her arms around him. "I was awful to you. After Ivan's death and even before. I was so upset that you got to live the life I wanted that I didn't even pause to think about how much it must have hurt you to lose Ivan. He was your best friend and the only thing I cared about was my bitter feelings. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you Dimka," she sobbed.

He held her tighter to him, rubbing soothing circles into her back. "I don't blame you for that Vik. I understand how you feel," he promised her. He glanced at me quickly before turning back to her. "I didn't make it easy on you. I wasn't as understanding as I should have been. I had figured that your life was made. You would get to live a comfortable life. What more could you want?" He locked his eyes with mine. "But I see things differently now. I understand."

She smiled at him. Then she turned to me. "How did you make my brother so smart?" She asked me jokingly.

"It wasn't easy," I told her with a smile. "You're brother has a thick head, but I got through to him in the end."

"How?" She asked uncertainly. I turned to Dimitri. This wasn't something I could answer.

"I thought she was a boy for two months. I could see her dedication and determination to succeed. I've never seen anyone who had such an understanding about her responsibilities. She understood her duty better than guardians twice her age. When I found out he was a she, I only admired her efforts more. She gave up everything for this life. When she was telling me about it, though she left out the naked men," he said shooting me a slightly annoyed look. "I realized how much she sacrificed for this. People don't give up their lives for something they don't feel passionately about."

I was grinning at Dimitri. I had never asked him directly how he came to realize I deserved this life. Hearing his reasoning, made me want to burst with pride.

"Should I leave?" Viktoria asked jokingly.

I hadn't realized that Dimitri and I had been slowly walking towards one another. "That would be nice," Dimitri told her without taking his eyes off of me.

"Ugh. Can you shove your hormones back in your pants until I actually leave?" Viktoria asked mock annoyed.

"My hormones are in my pants… for now," Dimitri said with a suggestive smile.

I giggled and backed away from him. "I would like to hang out with Viktoria some more. I miss being able to talk to a girl who's around my age," I said suddenly getting lost in my thoughts. I missed Lissa so much. I still got glimpses of her through the bond, but for the most part, I tried to block her out. Leaving her was the hardest thing I had to do. It was harder than cutting my hair.

"You miss your friends from home huh?" Viktoria asked me.

"Friend. I really only had one friend. I was too stubborn and sarcastic to make other friends. She's the only thing I regret about choosing to leave. Well I don't know that I regret it. I'm happy I made this decision, but I miss her more than you could imagine," I told her wistfully.

Viktoria shot Dimitri a look. I couldn't tell what it was though. "Who was she?" Viktoria asked curiously.

"Lissa… Lissa Dragomir," I told her.

"The last Dragomir?" Viktoria gasped.

I nodded. I glanced at Dimitri. He knew the story about the bond between me and Lissa. I didn't really feel like sharing it. He looked back at me, understanding lighting up his features.

"What? I don't provide good enough conversation?" He asked, trying to relieve the tension in me.

I giggled. "I'd rather spend less time talking to you, if you know what I mean Comrade," I teased him.

He blushed slightly and grinned at me.

"Seriously guys. I leave in like a day in a half," Viktoria complained. "It's so sad. Dimka is kicking me out before I get to have a proper reunion with my dear brother."

"I'm sure Dimitri wouldn't mind you staying a few more days," I said. Dimitri looked at me incredulously.

"What?" He asked.

"I know you missed her. You missed your whole family. I could see it in the way you talk about them. Besides, we have forever to be alone together," I told him. I said the last part without thinking. When I realized what I had said, I blushed. "I… I… me…meant th…that," I stuttered. I was cut off by his lips on mine.

He didn't break the kiss. I pressed myself closer to him. Our kiss picked up in intensity. In that moment, there was no one else in the world but him.

"Eew! I saw tongue!" Viktoria whined. "Can't you guys keep your hands to yourself for a couple of days?"

"Regretting asking her to stay those extra days yet?" Dimitri asked me jokingly.

"No," I told him, but I know my face betrayed me. I wish Viktoria wasn't here right now so I could spend some alone time with Dimitri.

I sighed and stepped away from him. These were going to be a long couple of days.


	21. Chapter 21

Rose's POV

The longest three days of my life were finally gone. Viktoria was going to be here one more day, then I could have Dimitri all to myself. I was thrilled at the idea of it. Not that I didn't love having Viktoria here, but I was craving some alone time with Dimitri. I had never had sex before, but I wasn't scared anymore. I had found the right person, and I knew I wanted to be with him forever. I could tell he felt the same way. Hell, if Viktoria hadn't been here, we probably would have had sex days ago. I wanted it so badly, but at the same time, I wanted to spend time with Viktoria

I knew Dimitri felt the same way when he offered to cancel our after-school practices while Viktoria was here. I refused. I needed to keep training so I wouldn't go soft. As the only female novice, I have a lot to live up to even if no one knows I'm a girl. Instead, I dragged Viktoria with us to these trainings. She would practice with us. She wasn't as good as Dimitri and I were, but she absorbed our moves and techniques quickly.

On the third day, we skipped the morning practice, because we had been up extremely late the night before. Viktoria had begged us to watch a movie with her. She picked a scary movie that I had never heard of. I honestly can't tell you what it was about, because I didn't see most of. The second there was blood on the screen, I pretended I was scared so I would be able to cuddle into his chest.

I kept trying to let him know I could handle a little more comfort. Eventually, he got the message and he brought his lips to mine. We spent the rest of the movie entrapped by each other's lips.

Viktoria didn't even notice, because she was actually paying attention to the movie. It was an amazing two hours. We wouldn't have realized the movie was over if Viktoria hadn't thrown a pillow at us. I glanced at the clock. It was 1:00 in the morning.

"Can we skip the morning practice? Please Comrade," I begged him.

He studied me for a moment, before nodding. "I suppose it would be better to cancel practice rather than have you fall asleep during it again," he said with a smile.

"Hey! That was one time and I was exhausted. I had had to do that project for Stan's class because I reached my detention limit that week," I reminded him. He grimaced. He had had to write fake reports to say that I had indeed served my detentions with him. It had happened a couple of days ago.

We were both too tired to carry on the conversation. I kissed him lightly before heading back to my dorm room. I snuck in quietly, careful not to wake up Christian.

I didn't even bother changing into pajamas. I was woken up by a loud knocking on my door. I grumbled and got out of bed to see who was at the door. When I opened the door, Viktoria was standing there with a disapproving look on her face.

She took one look at me and sighed. "Do you know what time it is?" She asked me, slightly annoyed.

I shook my head. I had thrown my alarm clock against the wall, so it had stopped showing time around 5:00 in the morning.

"It's 8:00. You've missed half of your first period class," she chastised.

I looked at her, suddenly feeling awake. I quickly wrapped myself up and threw on some clothes and headed for class.

When I got to the gym after school, Viktoria delivered some bad news. Unfortunately, Dimitri had a meeting to go to, so he was going to be late to our practice if he made it at all. That left me and Viktoria to train on our own. We took it pretty lightly. We ran a couple of laps and lifted some weights.

We tried sparring, but Viktoria was too keyed up to concentrate on the exercise. She was practically jumping up and down the entire time.

"Okay Viktoria, spit it out. What are you so excited about?" I asked her when we were doing some cool-down stretches.

"Nothing. I'm just sad to be going home so soon. I've been so happy to see Dimka that I don't want to go home yet.," she lied. I could tell she wasn't being honest with me. I mean, her words were true, but that's not why she was so excited.

"That's not it. It's something else," I guessed. What could she possibly be so excited about?

"Well I might be upset that someone didn't tell me today was a very special day," Viktoria admitted grudgingly.

My eyes widened and I couldn't look her in the eyes. "What could that be?" I asked her innocently. I was trying to convince myself that she didn't know what today was. There was no way she could know.

"I am absolutely distraught that one of my best friends doesn't love me enough to tell me today is her birthday," Viktoria said dramatically.

"How did you figure that out? I never told Dimitri when my real birthday is, and the school records have a different birthday on file," I asked her.

I could see her trying to come up with a believable excuse. She was spared having to answer me by a knock on the door.

I looked at her surprised. Who the hell would knock on a public gym door.

She shrugged. "It might be my brother," she said trying to seem calm. I could see her excitement bubbling below the surface. This is what she had been waiting for.

I walked over to the door cautiously. I didn't like surprises. Both Viktoria and Dimitri were well aware of that. I had intentionally not told them about my birthday, because I didn't want anything from them.

Just from having Viktoria's friendship and Dimitri's love, I was the happiest person in the world.

I opened the door and saw Dimitri standing in the door way.

"Hi," I said happily. Then I took in his expression. He looked more excited than Viktoria if that was possible. "Why did you knock on the door? It's the gym, usually you just come right in," I asked him slowly, trying to put together the pieces to this puzzle.

That's when I first noticed the person behind him. I had to rub my eyes to make sure I wasn't hallucinating.

My jaw dropped. I couldn't believe this.


	22. Chapter 22

Dimitri's POV

I knew Viktoria's days here were going to be long and drawn out. I don't know why she wanted to stay the extra days, but I was determined to find out.

On the second day of her stay, she left Rose and I alone briefly. "I have to go call mom," she told me. "She'll kill me if I don't check in with her soon."

Something about what she said bothered me and I couldn't figure out what. I pushed my doubts aside and focused on the fact that me and Rose would be able to spend a couple of minutes together, completely alone.

We fully took advantage of her absence. I didn't know how much longer I was going to be able to handle Viktoria being here. I wanted Rose so badly, but with Viktoria here constantly commenting and breaking apart our kisses, that wasn't possible. I could see it in her eyes, she was ready. She wanted me as much as I wanted her. Three more days, I promised myself. Three more days.

Just as our kiss was picking up in intensity, Viktoria came back. "Seriously? I was gone like five minutes!" Viktoria complained. I could hear the amusement in her voice.

Rose and I broke apart and I glared at her. Then I froze. To someone who didn't know her as well as I did, Viktoria probably looked totally normal. But I could see it behind her carefully composed mask. She was hiding something.

Then I realized what had bothered me about what she had said before. She had said she was calling mom, but it was 3:00 in the afternoon. That meant it was 4:00 am in Russia. My mother may wake up early, but not that early.

"What did mom say?" I asked her carefully. Her eyes widened in surprise when she took in my expression. She realized I knew she didn't call our mother.

"She said to be careful," Viktoria said with a shrug. She glanced at Rose then shot me a warning look.

I glanced at Rose too, then dropped it. I would have to bug Viktoria about it later, once Rose leaves to go back to her room.

We spent the rest of the afternoon talking. Viktoria wanted to go out to dinner. It was an extremely amusing situation as I had to get permission for 'Robert' to leave. We had to pretend that 'Robert' had become infatuated with Viktoria and that Viktoria returned the feeling to get permission for him to leave. I was accompanying them on their date as a 'chaperone.' Really this school was too oblivious sometimes.

Dinner was nice though and by the time we had gotten back, it was time for Rose to go back to her room. Normally I would have done anything to be with her a few extra minutes, but this time, I wanted to be able to interrogate Viktoria. It was driving me insane that I couldn't figure out what the big secret was.

So after a sweet kiss goodnight, we parted ways. I led Viktoria back to my room and the second my door was closed behind us I turned to her expectantly.

She sighed and went to sit down on my bed, making herself comfortable.

I sat next to her and stared her down.

"Okay! Just ask your questions. I know you've been dying to all day," Viktoria said to me slightly annoyed.

"Who did you really call? And why?" I asked her.

She avoided answering my questions. "Did you know that Rose's birthday is in two days?" Viktoria asked me quietly.

"What?" I asked her surprised. "The birthday on file is in July!"

"That's obviously a fake birthday," Viktoria pointed out.

I sighed to myself. "So what did you have planned?" I asked her.

She told me. I felt myself grinning. "That's going to be the best birthday present we could ever get her. Rose is going to flip!" I told Viktoria with a huge smile.

Viktoria frowned at me. "Don't make me regret telling you. Rose can't find out. It's a surprise," Viktoria warned me.

I frowned. "Rose knows me too well, she'll figure out I'm hiding something within the first 5 seconds of seeing me," I told her.

"I really don't want to hear about how well she knows you," Viktoria said as she made a face.

"That's not what I meant and you know it. Though now that you mention it…" I said trailing off.

Viktoria clamped her hands over her ears. "I don't want to hear this," she warned me.

"That doesn't solve the problem of Rose finding out," I reminded her, getting back on topic.

"We'll just have to keep her distracted," Viktoria said. "I'll take care of that part, but for now, I want to get some sleep!"

She went to my bathroom to shower. I sighed, wondering how she was going to distract Rose. I knew there was no point in asking her. She wouldn't tell me if I did.

I went to sleep, my mind still buzzing with questions.

True to her word, Viktoria kept Rose distracted the next day. We played board game after board game. When Rose insisted she was tired of playing board games, Viktoria decided we could watch a movie.

She put in a scary movie. The first time someone was killed on screen, Rose buried her head in my chest. I knew she wasn't really scared. She had probably just figured Viktoria would be too involved in the movie to pay attention to what we were doing. I wrapped my arms around her.

She tilted her head towards mine. I got the message and brought my lips down to her. We spent the remainder of the movie kissing. It wasn't as much as I wanted to do, but both of us enjoyed the chance to kiss without Viktoria complaining about it.

I actually don't think Viktoria noticed what he were doing until the movie ended. We wouldn't have realized the movie was over if Viktoria hadn't thrown a pillow at us.

I checked the time. It was 1:00 am. I hadn't meant to keep Rose up this late.

Can we skip the morning practice? Please Comrade," Rose begged, giving me puppy dog eyes.

I looked at her for a moment. I really didn't want to lose those two extra hours I could spend with her, but I had kept her much, much later than planned. "I suppose it would be better to cancel practice rather than have you fall asleep during it again," I said with a smile.

"Hey! That was one time and I was exhausted. I had had to do that project for Stan's class because I reached my detention limit that week," Rose reminded me.

I grimaced at her words. I had had to make fake detention reports to show she had served her punishment with me. She kept getting kicked out of Stan's class and one day she had already maxed out on detentions for that week so Stan assigned her a ridiculously impossible project to do.

She had sat on my bed until at least 3:00 in the morning complaining about Stan while she worked on the project. I should mention, she started it right after our after-school practice. Even with my help, it took her almost nine hours to do it.

The next day during our morning practice, she fell asleep against the punching bag.

It was pretty funny.

Rose didn't say anything after that. She kissed me goodnight and went back to her room.

When I woke up the next morning, I gave Viktoria strict instructions to wake Rose up before school.

I was substituting for Yuri second period, so I would see her then, but I was still sad I couldn't see her before school.

She came to my class about 20 minutes late.

"Sorry Guardian Belikov. I overslept," she told me, shooting me an accusatory look.

I mentally sighed. "Mr. Hemmingway. Do you mean to tell me you skipped your first period class?" I asked her. I hated having to yell at her, but I had to keep up appearances and there were a lot of novices watching.

"I don't know if you could call it skipping. I had an extremely late wake-up call," she told me. I could hear the annoyance in her voice.

I groaned. "Spar with Christian. We'll discuss your punishment later," I told her.

As she joined Christian, I heard her yelling at him, asking why he didn't wake her up. I didn't listen to their conversation. I had other students to supervise.

The end of school couldn't come soon enough. I rushed to get Rose's 'present.'

When I had gotten back to the gym, I knocked on the door.

"Hi. Why did you knock on the door? It's the gym, usually you just come right in," she asked me confused.

Then she looked behind me. I wish I had a camera, because her face was priceless.

She just stared as if she couldn't believe her eyes.


	23. Chapter 23

Rose's POV

I couldn't help myself. The tears started to fall down my cheeks.

This wasn't possible. The person before me couldn't be here… But she was. How the hell was she here? I didn't care about the how. I was just so happy she was here.

Before I knew what I was doing, I threw my arms around her.

"Rose," she said to me, tears streaming down her face.

"Liss! I've missed you so much," I sobbed.

"I've missed you too Rose! More than you can imagine," she told me, clutching me tighter.

I pulled back from her slightly. "How are you here?" I asked her shocked.

"Viktoria did it. She called me a couple of days ago. She said she thought it would cheer you up if you got to see me again," Lissa told me with a watery smile. "When I told her today was your birthday, she got in touch with your father and he bought me plane tickets so I could come see you. Guardian Belikov picked me up from the airport."

I grinned and turned to Viktoria. "So that's how you found out today was my birthday?" I asked her.

She nodded. I went over to her and gave her a tight hug. "Thank you so much!" I told her.

"You should really thank Dimka. I never would have done it if I hadn't gotten tired of hearing him complain about how much it sucks that he can't do more to help you," she told me.

I went over to Dimitri and gave him a quick kiss. "Thank you," I told him sincerely.

He shrugged. "I'm just glad I could do something special for your birthday," he told me. I could see his sincerity in his eyes.

I gave him another kiss, this one a little deeper. We broke apart at the sound of Lissa's gasp. She was looking back and forth between me and Dimitri.

"Lissa, this is my…" I trailed off. I wasn't sure what exactly described Dimitri.

"Boyfriend," Dimitri said.

I grinned at him. It's the first time he referred to himself as my boyfriend. "This is my boyfriend, Dimitri," I told Lissa.

She looked back and forth between us confused. "Isn't he your teacher? Isn't that illegal?" She asked uncertainly.

I saw Dimitri's face drop. "Absolutely not," I said firmly. Dimitri looked at me confused. "Well our first kiss was illegal, but nothing else was. Dimitri is not allowed to be romantically involved with Robert Hemmingway, but Rose Hathaway does not attend St. Vladimir's Academy. Therefore, he's not breaking any rules by being with me."

"Oh I missed your Rose logic," Lissa told me with a grin. I smiled back at her.

"Come on. I have to get some stuff from my room. I want you to meet my roommate," I said to Lissa. Turning to Dimitri, I said, "We'll meet you back in your room in a couple of minutes Comrade."

He grinned at me. "Don't take too long," he told me.

"I won't," I promised him.

Lissa and I walked out of the gym and headed back to my dorm room.

"I can't get over you with short hair Rose," she told me. I ran my fingers through my skimpy hair. It was actually pretty long, going down to the back of my neck. It wasn't long enough to tie back, but I had to hope that pretty soon it will be.

"You should have seen it when I first got it cut. I had it buzzed," I told her wincing. I hated having hair so short.

"I can't even imagine that," she admitted.

"Thankfully, I don't have the pictures to prove it," I told her slightly relieved.

We were at my room now. I knocked on the door. "Christian, are you wearing pants?" I called before I opened my door.

"You've seen me in my boxers before Rosie," Christian called back.

"Yes, but my friend hasn't, so put on some pants!" I ordered him.

He grumbled back to me. "Okay. I put on some pants," he told me.

I walked in with Lissa in tow. "Christian, this is Lissa. Lissa, that's Christian," I introduced them.

I didn't notice anything unusual until I had gathered up my clothes. When I looked back to find Lissa, I saw her frozen in the doorway, staring at Christian. He was staring right back at Lissa.

I cleared my throat loudly. That snapped them out of their haze and they both blushed.

"Sorry Rose," Lissa quickly apologized.

"It's fine," I told her. I kept glancing back and forth between Lissa and Christian. They were now talking to one another quietly. I quickly grabbed the rest of my stuff. I looked back at Lissa and grinned at the expression on her face. She was falling for Christian. I could see it already. "Liss, I'm going to go shower in Dimitri's room. Would you like to stay here until I get back?" I asked her.

"You shower in Dimitri's room?" She asked me shocked.

I nodded. "He has his own bathroom and it's easier than me having to wait until everyone else on the floor is asleep to shower," I explained to her.

I saw doubt on her face. "Gosh Liss! He waits in his room while I do it," I said to her, realizing what she was so surprised about.

Lissa turned a little red at my statement. "Oh… I… right…" She said, not meeting my eyes.

I laughed. I couldn't help myself. "So do you want to stay here while I shower? I'm sure Christian wouldn't mind keeping you company," I said winking at her. She blushed even more, but Christian didn't notice.

"Abandoning your friend huh Rosie? I guess I'll be the good roommate and wait with her," he said snarkily. I could see through his sarcasm. He really wanted to spend time with Lissa, but he didn't want her to realize that.

I rolled my eyes at him. "I'll be back in a little bit," I told both of them.

"More like an hour," Christian teased.

"Yeah. You take really long showers," Lissa said amused.

I rolled my eyes and walked to Dimitri's room. I hope things work out between them. I haven't seen Lissa so happy to meet a guy in years. As snarky and sarcastic as Christian is, I know he would be good for her. I feel like a matchmaker.


	24. Chapter 24

Rose's POV

When I walked into Dimitri's room, I was surprised to see Dimitri and Viktoria sitting on his bed whispering to one another. Once they noticed I had entered, they immediately stopped whispering and looked at me with smiles on their faces.

"Do I get to know the secret?" I asked them curiously.

Viktoria laughed. "Nope," she told me.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm going to go shower," I told them as I headed to the shower. I could hear them resume whispering the second I turned my back. I didn't know what they were planning, but I knew it couldn't be good.

Forty-five minutes later, I went back into Dimitri's room fully clothed and feeling refreshed. Dimitri and Viktoria had disappeared.

There was a note on Dimitri's bed.

Roza,

Come to the gym.

Love, Dimitri

I went to check my room before I made my way to the gym. Sure enough, Christian and Lissa weren't in my room. I threw on shorts and my baggy hoodie then headed to the gym. When I entered the gym, there wasn't a person in sight. I looked down at the note confused. No, it definitely said gym. As I was about to walk out and just wait in Dimitri's room, everyone jumped out from various places in the gym and screamed, "SURPRISE!"

I stared at them shocked. It was only Viktoria, Dimitri, Lissa, Christian, and my father, but it was amazing. I ran right to my father. "I can't believe you're here!" I told him.

"I've been here since Lissa got here. I just stayed here to help set up," he explained to me.

That's when I took in all the decorations. There were little streamers hanging from the ceiling. There was a huge banner that said, "Happy 17th Rose!" It wasn't much, but to me, it was amazing.

There was a small table with presents on it. I looked at that surprised. "Who got me presents?" I asked confused.

"Everyone," Viktoria answered. "Did you really think we wouldn't get you presents?"

I looked down. "Well, birthdays weren't a big thing around my house. I used to only get a gift from Lissa. And well last year, I got one from my dad too," I admitted. To me, the stack looked huge, only because it was more than what I usually got.

Dimitri, Viktoria, and Christian looked at me shocked. "You're mother and brothers didn't give you presents?" Viktoria asked. She looked horrified.

I shook my head and shrugged. "Being a mother to me really wasn't her thing," I said, trying to hide how much it hurt me to have to say that. I wished I could say I have a mother who cared, but I can't.

Dimitri sensed I didn't want to talk about it, so he changed the subject. Or rather, the cake he seemed to pull out of nowhere did. There were two candles on it. He carried it over to me as everyone sang happy birthday.

"Make a wish," Dimitri reminded me once they had finished the song.

I took a deep breath and wished with all my might. I knew exactly what I wanted. I wanted there to be a day when I wouldn't have to pretend to be a boy to be a guardian. I blew out the candles in one breath as everyone cheered. The cake was chocolate and it was delicious.

It said 'Happy Birthday Rose!' on it. "It has your name on it, so you need to eat all the evidence," Viktoria warned.

"Like that will be a problem with Rose," Lissa teased. I rolled my eyes, but I knew she was right.

"Do I get to cut the first slice?" I asked hopefully.

"Only you would get that excited at the thought of wielding a knife," Christian said snarkily.

"Watch it Chrissie. I could always use some target practice," I replied jokingly.

Christian rolled his eyes. "Bring it Rosie," he challenged.

I rolled my eyes at him as I cut the first piece of cake. I sniffed it. "Ew. This smells weird," I said.

"What?" Christian asked insulted. "I made that cake!"

That was even better. "I'm telling you. It smells bad," I told him.

"Let me smell it," he said taking the piece of cake from me and holding it up to his nose. "I don't sme-" he was cut off by me pushing the plate into his face. There was chocolate cake all over his face. "You went too far Rosie," he warned me. He took a scoop of cake off his face and threw it at me. I ducked at the last second and Dimitri got hit by the cake.

He looked down his shirt as if he couldn't believe it. He scraped off the cake and threw it back to Christian who ducked out of the way, so the cake went flying to Abe.

Me being the immature teenager I am, decided to scream, "Food fight!"

I ducked under the table as the cake started flying. I chucked a piece at Dimitri, who took it on as his own personal mission to get me back for that.

By the time our war had ended, everyone was coated in cake, except for Lissa. She had some cake on her, but for the most part, Christian had blocked her from all flying cake. It was sweet… I guess.

Lissa certainly thought so. She wouldn't stop thanking him.

"It was no problem milady," he said kissing her hand. Lissa blushed. With her pale complexion, it seemed like her skin was glowing a soft red.

I playfully punched Christian. "I can't believe you just called her milady," I teased him.

"You're just jealous Guardian Belikov doesn't call you that," he retorted.

"How would you know?" I shot back. "You watching us while we're together?"

He rolled his eyes at me, but didn't comment back. I grinned at him.

Looking around at all of the smiling faces, I felt happier than I had in a while. This was the best birthday ever.


	25. Chapter 25

Dimitri's POV

Not long after we had finished our cake fight, everyone except for Abe, headed back to my room. We all needed to shower. Christian gave Lissa a quick hug before he went to his dorm room. Rose's eyes were absolutely sparkling. As much as she teased and made fun of Christian, she really did care about him. She was happy he was getting along with Lissa so well.

I sat on my desk chair, not wanting to get cake on the bed. "Lissa, you should go shower first," Rose told her.

Once Lissa was in the bathroom, Rose came and sat down on my lap. She leaned back against my chest. I felt like we could sit like that forever. Lissa had to have taken at least a thirty minute shower. Viktoria was starting to fidget. She had volunteered to stand so she wouldn't get cake on anything. When Lissa had finished showering, she came out of the bathroom.

"I'm going to go talk to Christian if that's alright with you Rose?" She asked uncertainly.

"Definitely Liss. Have fun… But not too much fun," Rose warned her with a wink.

Lissa groaned and rolled her eyes. She walked out of the room. "Vik, you've been so patient. You should shower next so you can sit down," Rose told her.

Viktoria obliged. The second she was in the bathroom, Rose turned her face towards mine. I saw the question in her eyes and I leaned down to answer it. Our lips met in a passionate kiss. I could see she wanted to do more than kiss. I wanted to do more than kiss, but I knew I couldn't. When I found out today was her birthday, I thought it was her 18th. I don't know if I will be able to make myself wait a year. I don't know if I'll be able to make myself wait a couple of minutes.

Luckily, Viktoria finished her shower than and popped her head out the bathroom door. "Figures you guys would be all over each other the second you are alone," she said rolling her eyes. "Rose, the shower is all yours."

Rose gave me a quick peck on my lips before she headed into the bathroom. When the bathroom door closed behind me, Viktoria turned to me. "Are you planning anything special for her birthday?" Viktoria asked with a knowing look in her eyes.

"I can't," I said sadly.

"Why not. Not that I want to think about my big brother having sex, it's gross. But it's obvious you both want it," Viktoria pointed out.

"She's seventeen Vik. She's a minor. And… I can't believe I'm talking about sex with my baby sister," I said putting my head in my hands.

"It doesn't matter that she's seventeen. No one will find out. Even if you do something stupid like break up with her, Rose still wouldn't tell anyone. She wants this Dimitri. She loves you and you love her. Now what's really holding you back?" Viktoria demanded.

I stared at her shocked. How the hell had she figured out something else was bothering me? "It's… it's nothing," I muttered, not looking in her eyes.

"Dimka," she said. Her tone quite clearly said cut the BS and tell me what's bothering you.

I sighed. "I don't know how to say this. I mean… She's a virgin Viktoria. A virgin. I… I don't want to hurt her. And what if I'm not enough. What if I make her first time awful because I'm not good enough?" I asked her.

Viktoria studied me curiously. "Dimka… Are you a virgin?" She asked me curiously.

I could feel the heat flooding to my cheeks. "Vik, where did that come from?" I asked her, playing dumb.

"You were just rambling like you have never had sex before. Everyone who's had sex knows that no matter the person, sex is enjoyable," she said to me matter-of-factly.

I narrowed my eyes in suspicion. "Vik… Have you had sex before?" I asked her slowly, trying to control my temper.

"You know? I think I'm going to spend some quality time with Lissa. Give you and Rose some alone time," she said. She practically ran out of the room. I was too shocked to move. If I found out who had sex with my baby sister, I am going to kill them. She's fifteen for crying out loud. Who has sex at fifteen?

I stared at the floor while I waited for Rose to get out of the shower. She came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel. When I saw her, my eyes widened. "Sorry, she said apologetically. "I left my clothes in here." She pointed to the pile of clothes on my bed.

"It's alright," I said. I was still upset about Viktoria.

"Dimitri, what's wrong?" Rose asked, walking over to me in a towel. I guess I am more important than clothes. I had to keep myself from smiling. I could definitely get used to that idea.

"Nothing. Just something Viktoria said," I told her. "No big deal."

Anger flashed in Rose's eyes. "What did she say? I'm going to kill her for upsetting you," Rose said annoyed. She started to walk towards the door, but I got there first.

"Rose. Really it's okay. You really can't go kill her right now," I told her.

"Why not?" She asked pouting.

"Because as much as I enjoy the view, you are only in a towel and I think there are a couple of things that the guys on the floor might be surprised to see you have," I told her.

She looked down at her towel like she only just realized she was in a towel.

"Why don't you get dressed while I take a shower," I suggested.

She glanced at me and I couldn't make out her expression. She shook her head. "Nope. I think I'm going to wait here just like this if you don't mind," she said as she walked over to the bed.

She plopped down on the bed and I gulped. I ran into the bathroom, trying to compose my thoughts. She's seventeen, one part of my brain warned me. So what? I love her, the other part of my brain argued. I thought about Viktoria's words. She wants this Dimitri. She loves you and you love her.

Just like that I made up my mind. I took the world's quickest shower. I kid you not and walked back into the bedroom only in a towel.

Rose was lying on my bed. She grinned and sat up when she saw me. I could see her eyes taking in every inch of my chest.

I went to sit next to her. "So will you tell me what your sister said that made you so upset?" Rose asked.

"She pretty much told me she had sex," I said, unable to hide the outrage in my voice. "Who would have guessed that my baby sister would have had sex be…" I trailed off, not finishing my sentence. I didn't want Rose to know my younger sister had sex before I did.

Rose's eyes looked at me in the way that makes me feel like she's seeing through to my soul. "I knew she had sex," Rose said while she was staring at me.

I looked at her shocked. "You… What?" I asked her shocked.

"The first day we were here, we were talking getting to know each other. I was teasing her. The second she found out I loved you, she kept making gagging noises at me. So before she started grilling me about my life, I said, 'I wonder what Dimitri would be like in bed,' just to annoy her. She told me, 'probably like any guy.' Well I told her that wouldn't really help me, because I've never had sex before. And she told me she did and that…" Rose trailed off with a shrug.

"And what?" I asked.

"And that she thought you were a virgin too," Rose admitted not looking me in the eye. "She said you were the type of person that was too busy with school to be fooling around with girls."

"And what did you say back to her?" I prodded.

"Nothing," Rose said, still pointedly avoiding eye contact.

"Rose," I warned.

"I told her that you were too good-looking for your own good and with your godly good looks, you probably had hundreds of girls trying to get in your pants," she mumbled under her breath.

I understood every word she uttered. I couldn't stop myself. I started laughing. Rose turned to me, her eyes shooting daggers at me. "I'm sorry Rose, but my sister was right," I said when I had calmed down.

Rose's eyes widened. "You're a…" She trailed off.

I nodded and turned my serious gaze to her. "But I'm ready to give that up. I know I've finally found the perfect girl to do it with," I told her seriously.

Just like that, Rose threw her towel to the ground and wrapped her arms around me, crushing her lips to mine. This was going to be a fun night.


	26. Chapter 26

Rose's POV

I woke up the next morning in Dimitri's arms. I was really sore and at first I couldn't figure out why. Then the events from last night came crashing down on me.

I felt a goofy smile spread across my face as heat flooded my face.

"You look beautiful when you blush," Dimitri whispered to me.

I smiled as I turned to him. "I didn't know you were awake," I told him.

"I woke up a couple of minutes ago," he admitted. "I just didn't want to wake you up. You look so peaceful while you sleep."

I grinned at him. "I don't know if I should be creeped out or happy that you were watching me while I slept," I told him jokingly. His chest was completely exposed to me. I couldn't help but drink in every inch and every muscle.

"Obviously happy. I mean it's not like I snuck in your window. You knew I was here. I just didn't want to wake you up," he pointed out. He gave me one of his rare full smiles and I felt my heart skip a beat. I don't know how he can still affect me like this, especially after what we did last night. I would have hoped I got some of it out of my system, but no luck.

"Yeah. Though not going to lie, I'm pretty sure it would be hilarious to try and see you get in a third floor window," I told him with a giggle.

"I could do it," he said with a straight face. I got a mental image of him climbing in my window and couldn't stop my laughter.

"What's so funny?" He asked me.

"Your just so much bigger than my window. It's funny picturing you climbing in it," I told him.

"I'm not that big," he said pretending to me hurt.

I glanced at his chest again. "You're huge. Muscle everywhere," I said without thinking. Looking at his chest, I wanted him as much now as I had before. I might actually want him a little more, because now I know what I've been missing. I blushed again as that thought passed through my head.

"Why are you blushing again?" He asked me curiously.

Well I can't very well tell you that I'm blushing because I can't stop thinking about what we did last night and how amazing it was and how much I want to do it again. I blushed a little more as I thought that. Last night was without a doubt the best night of my life. "I…" I started.

Dimitri chuckled. "You do know you said that out loud right?" He asked amused.

"How much did I say out loud?" I asked him nervously. I was praying that I only said the last part out loud.

He didn't answer me. Instead he pulled me closer to him as he sat up. I leaned my head on his bare chest. "I can't stop thinking about it either and I agree with everything you said. Last night was the best night of my life too," he whispered to me.

I turned to him horrified. "I didn't mean to say that out loud," I told him in a small voice. That was embarrassing.

He kissed my forehead then turned so he was facing me. "You should never be embarrassed to tell me what you are thinking," he told me seriously. "I would never make fun of you or laugh at you for anything you were thinking," he told me.

"Well, do you know what I'm thinking right now?" I asked him with a small smile.

"What?" He asked me curiously.

I leaned in and kissed him. "I'm thinking we could be doing something very fun right now," I told him, my grin getting bigger.

"I'm thinking I agree," he said. He kissed me passionately. "But I'm also thinking that Lissa and Viktoria might not be willing to give us all morning to be alone when they gave us last night."

My eyes widened as I looked around, realizing for the first time that they were not here. I was a little ashamed that I hadn't missed their presence earlier. "Where are they?" I asked confused.

"They were giving me the opportunity to give you your birthday present," he told me.

I blushed. "They knew?" I asked him a little horrified. I mean I had been planning on telling them, but the idea that they were in another room with the knowledge I was having sex? Weird.

"Viktoria did. She's the one that pretty much told me I would be an idiot not to," he explained.

"You had sex with me because your sister told you too?" I asked him confused.

"NO!" He practically screamed. "She just helped me realize I was being an idiot. I really wanted to, but when I looked at your record on file, I thought you would be turning eighteen. I didn't realize until we got to your party that you only just turned seventeen. I realized that what we did… well it was illegal. Viktoria told me it didn't matter. No one was going to find out," he told me. Something flashed across his eyes.

"What else did Viktoria tell you?" I asked him.

He blushed. "Nothing important," he told me.

"Right. That's why your face looks like a tomato right now," I said sarcastically. I lifted my hand up and put it on his cheek. "You should never be embarrassed to tell me what you are thinking," I told him, echoing what he said earlier.

He closed his eyes. "I might have had another concern," he admitted.

"Which was?" I prodded.

"Well… I knew you were a virgin and I sure as hell didn't know anything about having sex. I mean I had probably known a little more than you," he said. His eyes widened and he blushed when he said that. I didn't have time to ask him what he meant, because he hastily continued. "But anyway. I wanted your first time to be amazing and I was worried that I wouldn't be able to make it amazing because of my lack of experience."

He wouldn't look at me. It took all of my self-control not to laugh. I knew he had been legitimately worried about this and I wasn't going to make fun of him for it. I pulled his head down so he had no choice but to look at me. "Dimitri Belikov," I said to him gently. "You had absolutely nothing to worry about. It was absolutely perfect, because I was doing it with the perfect man." I shook my head lightly. "Wow. How cheesy was that?"

"Somewhere between mozzarella and cheddar," he joked.

I rolled my eyes. "Speaking of cheesy," I muttered.

He chuckled, then turned serious. "You mean that?" He asked me uncertainly.

"Yes. Your joke was very cheesy," I told him, knowing that wasn't what he meant.

"Rose," he told me seriously.

I blushed a little. "Dimitri, I can't explain how amazing last night was," I told him seriously. "It was the best birthday present you could have gotten me. The best birthday present I've ever gotten."

"You can't say that, because you didn't open your other presents," Dimitri pointed out.

"You're right," I said to him. I saw his face fall. "I should have opened all my presents before we slept together, because now they have too much to live up to."

He chuckled. "Do you want to open them?" He asked me.

"If we're doing presents, I can think of something I really want," I told him suggestively.

He leaned down to kiss me. I think he would have given in if someone hadn't knocked on the door.

I groaned. "Go away," I muttered under my breath. Dimitri chuckled as he got up to open the door.

"Where's your shirt Dimka? You sleep in one when your home," Viktoria asked him. Viktoria ran in the room and jumped on the bed. She giggled when she saw me. "I guess that answers my question."

"You caught me. I didn't want to disturb you two last night, so Dimitri gave me his t-shirt to sleep in," I told her. It wasn't exactly a lie. Dimitri didn't give me his t-shirt, but I did sleep in it.

She turned to Dimitri and slapped him. "Did you really not have sex with her? Dimka, you are an idiot!" She yelled at him. "I tortured myself all night, thinking my brother was a couple of rooms down having sex with my friend. Now I find out I lost sleep over nothing?"

I straight out laughed. I hadn't thought Dimitri was being serious when he told me Viktoria wanted us to have sex. "You should leave now. Give us the chance to do it now since he didn't do it last night," I said innocently.

I felt Dimitri's silent chuckle next to me. Viktoria looked at me and groaned. "You guys did have sex last night," she said.

"What makes you say that?" I asked her, playing dumb.

"Well aside from the fact that you have sex hair, Dimka doesn't look horrified that you just asked me to leave. That means he had sex and it was indeed amazing like I told him it would be," Viktoria explained.

"Okay. It's really weird that you gave your older brother advice on having sex," I said as I shook my head.

"That's what family is for. He's my brother and you're practically my sister," she said.

"So you helped your brother have sex with your sister?" I teased. I felt a surge of joy when she called me her sister.

Viktoria rolled her eyes at me. "What else is family for?" She retorted.

"One big happy family," I muttered quietly.

"One big happy family," Viktoria agreed. I grinned at her and snuggled closer to Dimitri's chest. This is what having a loving family is like, I realized. I felt complete.


	27. Chapter 27

Rose's POV

We got permission for Lissa to stay on campus for the weekend when we told Kirova she was my cousin. Lissa only used a teensy bit of compulsion to make Kirova believe we were related. It wasn't a lot.

I never really had the chance to talk to Lissa alone until the day she was leaving. We were always with Viktoria or Dimitri or both of them. Not that I minded. I enjoyed spending time with Viktoria and I loved spending time with Dimitri, but I wanted to be able to talk to Lissa alone so I could tell her everything about Dimitri.

Finally, on the last day, Viktoria wanted to say goodbye to a sophomore novice she had met and become rather friendly with, if you know what I mean. Since she met him, she's walked around with a big goofy smile on her face. But she left me, Lissa, and Dimitri alone in Dimitri's room.

Dimitri had to shower, which left just me and Lissa. The moment Dimitri closed the bathroom door, I turned to Lissa.

"What is it Rose? You look like you're about to confess to murder," Lissa joked. She knew I wanted to tell her something.

"I slept with Dimitri," I blurted out before I could stop myself.

Lissa's eyes widened. She looked like she wasn't sure whether to be happy or upset. She settled for finding out the details. "When?" She asked.

"Two days ago. The night of my birthday," I told her with a grin.

Lissa giggled. "Aww! How romantic," she said dreamily.

I laughed. "Yeah. It was an amazing birthday present," I told her.

"Wait! Was he good?" She asked curiously.

I giggled. "Well I don't have anything to compare it too, but I can't imagine it gets any better than that," I told her, my mind on the events of that night. How I felt under his touch. I shook my head to clear it. "I thought it would be like what you told me. When you slept with Aaron, you said it was nothing special. But this Liss? Special doesn't even begin to describe it. Remember when I asked you if the stars aligned when you had sex with Aaron?"

"Yes," she said as she rolled her eyes.

"Well it wasn't like the stars aligned. It was like all the stars in the universe burned brighter. I swear I've never felt anything like it," I told her.

"That good huh?" She asked with a mischievous grin.

"You have no idea," I told her sincerely.

"So you're happy?" She asked, just to make sure.

"Euphoric," I told her with a big grin. "I am glad I gave him my virginity. It was the best decision I've ever made. After I decided to become a boy of course."

"I'm surprised that wins," Lissa said to me surprised.

"Well if I hadn't decided to become a boy, I never would have met Dimitri," I pointed out. "Then, my life would really suck."

"True," Lissa admitted. Then she giggled. "You would be married to Adrian right now."

I made a face. "No. But I probably would be dead, because my mother would kill me for refusing to marry Adrian. She can't force me to marry someone," I pointed out.

"What would you do? Leave him at the alter?" She asked me shocked.

"If my mother had managed to force me down the aisle? Absolutely. There was no way I was going to say 'I do' to that bastard," I told her with certainty.

"Wow," she said awed. I think she was impressed that I would have the guts to ditch a royal.

"Speaking of boys, how are you and Christian?" I asked changing the subject. This was something I had been dying to ask her. She had gone on a 'date' with him last night. It was really cute. Dimitri had let Christian cook in his kitchen, then they had a picnic in our dorm room. I had assumed it had gone well, because Lissa still hadn't stopped smiling.

"Rose, I think I'm falling for him," she admitted with a scared look on her face. "I don't know what to do. I've never felt this strongly about someone before."

"I know it's scary. I felt the same way with Dimitri. I think he felt the same way too and he thought I was a boy," I said, chuckling at the memory. "If it makes you feel better, I think Christian feels the same way about you. I've never seen him happier."

She grinned. "You really think so?" She asked me hopefully.

"Absolutely. But let's get onto the important matter at hand," I told her. "I want to know every little detail about your date!"

"Oh my God Rose, it was magical. Christian can cook. He made this amazing meatloaf and had chocolate covered strawberries. He fed me one. It was like in the movies. It was so sweet," Lissa said, her head clearly in a different world. "Then we just laid down on the blanket. I rested my head on his shoulder. You would think with all his muscle he wouldn't be comfortable, but I could have stayed like that forever and never moved. He had put little fake clouds on the ceiling and we found shapes in his clouds. Rose, it was so romantic!"

"Liss, that sounds amazing," I said to her happily.

"And…" she hesitated.

"What Liss?" I asked her with interest.

"He kissed me," she said as she blushed.

"Like kiss or KISS," I asked her.

"KISS," she admitted.

"Oh my god! You made out with him didn't you Liss?" I asked her.

She nodded. "For a long time. Rose, I usually don't move that fast, but Christian is so nice. I don't know what I'm going to do when I go home," she said sadly.

"Hey, it will be okay," I reassured her. "I'll bet Christian will visit you every break from school. Maybe this summer, the four of us could get an apartment together!"

I couldn't hide the excitement in my voice. Lissa was excited too. "You, me, Christian, and Dimitri. Sounds like an amazing summer," she said breathlessly. There was a twinkle in her eyes.

"The best," I agreed. "And only like four months away."

"Four months is a long time," she said sadly.

"Well, you two will be able to call and talk to each other all the time. And hopefully you'll be able to come visit us again," I told her.

She immediately brightened up. "That's true," she said happily. "You'll have to keep in touch with me too. I want to know how your life is going!"

Just then, Dimitri stepped out of the bathroom. "Oh, he's back. We have to stop talking about him," I joked with Lissa.

Lissa giggled. "But it's so fun to talk about him behind his back," Lissa fake whined.

"But it's rude," I jokingly chastised her.

"I hope you were saying good things," Dimitri said, pouting.

"Good things about you Comrade? Can't think of a single one," I teased.

Dimitri came up to me and wrapped his arms around me. "None?" He asked when his lips were a centimeter from my lips.

"Maybe one or two," I breathed back at him.

He pressed me close to him. I was starting to lose coherency. All I could think about was my body pressed against his. "Only one or two?" He asked.

"Okay a lot," I said. I desperately wanted to kiss him and I finally got my wish. We didn't pull apart until Lissa uncomfortably cleared her throat, reminding us she was still there. I had honestly forgotten she was there, and by the looks of it, so had Dimitri.

He turned to her embarrassed. "I'm sorry Princess," he said.

"It's alright," Lissa said with a giggle. "We probably should get going. Viktoria and I can't miss our flights."

I sighed as I stepped out of his embrace. "We need to find Viktoria," I said.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. "Dimka, Rose? Are you guys decent?" Viktoria yelled. We're lucky no other guardians lived on this floor.

"Speak of the devil," I muttered under my breath. I heard Dimitri's small chuckle. "Yes, come in," I said louder so Viktoria could hear me.

"We have to go," she reminded us.

"I know," I said sadly. We left the Academy to bring them to the airport. I had to keep reminding myself this was not a permanent goodbye.


	28. Chapter 28

Dimitri's POV

The weekend flew by and before I knew it, it was time for Lissa and Viktoria to go to the airport to catch their flights. We had booked them flights that were only an hour apart, so we wouldn't have to make two separate trips.

The day they were supposed to leave, Viktoria left to go say goodbye to a sophomore novice she was smitten with. I don't know how I feel about that, but I know the novice isn't going to try anything. I made sure of that. I threatened his life… I mean had a stern talk with him. I warned him exactly what would happen if he tried to take advantage of her or if he hurt her.

I watched Viktoria skip out of my room. I turned back to Lissa and Rose. "I have to shower real quick, then we'll have to leave," I told them.

I saw Rose's face drop. I knew she was sad to have Lissa leave. I walked into the bathroom.

I heard Lissa say something to Rose. I figured they were going to be saying their goodbyes.

"I slept with Dimitri," I heard Rose say. I stood near the door torn. I knew it was wrong to listen in on someone's conversation, but I wanted to hear this so badly. My less honorable side won. I turned on the water, so they wouldn't get suspicious.

I pressed my ear against the door. "When?" Lissa asked.

"Two days ago. The night of my birthday," Rose told her. Was it me, or was there definitely a note of happiness in her voice? Was I just looking into it too much?

Lissa giggled. "Aww! How romantic," she said dreamily.

Rose laughed. "Yeah. It was an amazing birthday present," she said.

"Wait! Was he good?" Lissa asked curiously. I was going to hell for this. I was listening in on a conversation between Rose and her best friend. I was going to hell. But I couldn't stop, especially now. I had been dying to know how Rose really felt about what we did.

I heard Rose giggle. "Well I don't have anything to compare it too, but I can't imagine it gets any better than that," I heard Rose say. I felt a goofy smile spread across my face. She really enjoyed it. "I thought it would be like what you told me. When you slept with Aaron, you said it was nothing special. But this Liss? Special doesn't even begin to describe it. Remember when I asked you if the stars aligned when you had sex with Aaron?" I am so going to hell for this. I definitely wasn't supposed to know this. I wonder what she meant when she asked if the stars aligned.

"Yes," Lissa said.

"Well it wasn't like the stars aligned. It was like all the stars in the universe burned brighter. I swear I've never felt anything like it," Rose told her. I knew exactly what she meant. I felt the same way.

"That good huh?" Lissa asked. I could almost detect a hint of humor in her voice.

"You have no idea," Rose told her sincerely.

"So you're happy?" Lissa asked. I held my breath, waiting for her answer.

"Euphoric," Rose told her. "I am glad I gave him my virginity. It was the best decision I've ever made. After I decided to become a boy of course." I felt a pang of jealousy. Rose was absolutely the best decision I ever made, and I felt sad that I wasn't her best decision. I shouldn't be that upset though. Given the circumstances, it's understandable. She changed her whole life when she became a boy. She made her dreams come true. Of course it would be first.

"I'm surprised that wins," Lissa said to Rose surprised.

"Well if I hadn't decided to become a boy, I never would have met Dimitri," Rose pointed out. "Then, my life would really suck." I felt a smile spread across my face. So that's why she was happiest about that decision. I have to say, my life would really suck if I hadn't met her too.

"True," Lissa admitted. Then she giggled. "You would be married to Adrian right now." The smile fell off my face.

"No. But I probably would be dead, because my mother would kill me for refusing to marry Adrian. She can't force me to marry someone," Rose said defiantly. I was surprised. Would she really go against her mother's wishes? Well I guess she did run away and become a boy.

"What would you do? Leave him at the alter?" Lissa asked her shocked.

"If my mother had managed to force me down the aisle? Absolutely. There was no way I was going to say 'I do' to that bastard," she said confidently. I had no doubt that she was completely serious.

"Wow," Lissa said. I think I detected a bit of awe in her voice. She was impressed with what Rose would do to stand up for her beliefs.

"Speaking of boys, how are you and Christian?" Rose asked. I pried my ear away from the door. I will not pry into Lissa's private life. I knew it had been wrong to listen, but I couldn't help myself. My mind was buzzing with their conversation.

I took a very quick shower then headed out of the bathroom. Rose and Lissa abruptly stopped their conversation. I briefly wondered if they had been talking about me.

"Oh, he's back. We have to stop talking about him," Rose joked with Lissa. It was like she could read my thoughts.

Lissa giggled. "But it's so fun to talk about him behind his back," Lissa fake whined.

"But it's rude," Rose jokingly chastised her.

"I hope you were saying good things," I said, pretend pouting.

"Good things about you Comrade? Can't think of a single one," Rose teased.

I walked over to Rose and wrapped my arms around her waist. "None?" I asked when our lips were almost touching.

"Maybe one or two," Rose said. I could see the lust in her eyes. She wanted me to kiss her.

I pressed her close to me. Every inch of her body melted into mine. "Only one or two?" I asked.

"Okay a lot," she finally said. I could see the hunger in her expression. It matched the hunger in mine. I pressed my lips to hers. Lissa cleared her throat uncomfortably. I saw Rose jump back shocked. I see I wasn't the only one that forgot Lissa was here.

I turned to her embarrassed. "I'm sorry Princess," I said. I can't believe I forgot she was here.

"It's alright," Lissa said with a giggle. "We probably should get going. Viktoria and I can't miss our flights."

Rose sighed and stepped back away from me. My arms felt empty without her. "We need to find Viktoria," Rose said.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. "Dimka, Rose? Are you guys decent?" Viktoria yelled. I sighed.

"Speak of the devil," Rose muttered under her breath. I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped me. "Yes, come in," she said louder. Viktoria walked in.

"We have to go," she reminded us.

"I know," Rose said sadly.

We left the Academy. When we got to the airport, Lissa and Viktoria checked in their luggage and we waited for their flights. Viktoria's flight was first and it was a tearful goodbye. This is the second time I've cried in front of Rose, but I couldn't make myself care. Rose was so caring and understanding, I felt like I didn't have anything to be ashamed of.

Viktoria kissed my cheek one last time then turned to Rose. "You be good to my brother. Make sure he stays safe," she ordered her.

Rose looked at her seriously. "I will," she promised. I knew that she meant it.

Viktoria gave Rose a big hug then walked towards her plane. She turned right before her checkpoint and waved goodbye to us.

We sat in the benches in silence while we waited for Lissa's flight to arrive. When it did, the scene before me was heartbreaking. Rose started crying. I don't mean the tears of joy she shed when Lissa first came here. I meant bawling like I had with Viktoria. "By Liss," she whispered, holding Lissa in a death grip.

When they broke apart, Lissa turned to me. I could see she was sad to leave. "Don't hurt her! Do you hear me? You hurt her and you will pay," Lissa said to me seriously.

I nodded. I didn't really think Lissa would be able to inflict much damage on me, but I didn't plan on ever finding out. "Yes Princess," I told her.

Lissa rolled her eyes. "One day. One day Dimitri, you will call me Lissa," she said with a determined expression.

I gave her a small smile. Rose gave her one last hug then watched as she walked away. Rose leaned against me and I instinctively wrapped my arms around her.

She closed her eyes and breathed in slowly. After a few minutes, she stopped crying.

"Better?" I asked her softly.

"You're aftershave always helps," she told me quietly. "It calms me down. How can your scent do that to me?"

I looked at her surprised. "My aftershave?" I asked her uncertainly.

"That and the natural smell of your skin. It's intoxicating. It just helps. Kind of how I feel whole in your presence, when I smell you, I just know everything will be okay. I know it sounds weird, but it's true. You make me feel like everything will be okay. How can it not be when we're together?" She asked me.

I didn't have words for her. I was so surprised. I don't think she would have been telling me this much if she weren't upset about Lissa leaving, but I still felt honored. It was like she had given me a gift. A gift that helped me unravel a little more of the mystery that she is. "I know what you mean. Not necessarily about the scent of you, but when I feel you in my arms, I feel like all is right in the world," I admitted to her. I don't know what made me tell her that, but I saw a spark in her eye.

She looked me right in the eye. "All is right as long as we're together," she told me seriously.

I nodded and looked at her. "As long as we're together," I agreed as I pulled her towards me for a kiss.


	29. Chapter 29

Rose's POV

The next weeks passed quickly and before I knew it, there were only two weeks left of school. Dimitri and I never talked about my brief spurt of craziness in the airport. I don't think he realized that I was actually going crazy in that moment. It was like my mind had gone on auto-pilot and every thought that went through my head came out of my mouth. I never have mastered filtering my thoughts, but this was bad, even for me. I don't know what came over me, but whatever it was, hasn't happened since.

I spent almost every night in Dimitri's room. It was the best feeling in the world to wake up in his arms. I got more time in the mornings with him, because he had cut out my morning training. Senior novices were spending so much time preparing for their trials and Dimitri wanted to give them more gym space to practice. My trainings with Dimitri were going great. Somehow we managed to focus only on my workouts during training. I had gotten to the point where I was beating Dimitri more than he was beating me, which was an amazing feat. I couldn't wait until next year. Dimitri promised that he would start training me with a stake when we came back in the fall.

He insisted the reason he hadn't started training me was because I wasn't ready. I could see through his façade though. He wanted an excuse to keep training me. Because I hadn't even touched a stake much less used it, I will need a lot of practice to catch up to the novices, or at least that's what Dimitri told Stan.

Lissa had been here this past weekend and we had just dropped her off at the airport. It was sticky and hot out so Dimitri had insisted on taking another shower when we got back to the Academy.

I was sitting on Dimitri's bed waiting for him to come out of the shower when his phone started ringing. I looked at it and saw Lissa's name. I was confused as to why she was calling. She should be on a plane right now.

"Hey Liss!" I said into the phone.

"Hey Rose!" Lissa said excitedly.

"What's up?" I asked. I wondered what was going on. She sounded so excited.

"I found it!" Lissa practically squealed.

I was confused. Had she lost something? "Found what?" I asked her.

"The perfect apartment! For us to rent during the summer!" Lissa exclaimed. I briefly remembered our last conversation when Lissa said she was going to look for something. She had been extremely excited when I came up with the idea to live together during the summer.

"Wait Liss, how did you find an apartment? Dimitri and I dropped you off at the airport," I asked her confused.

"I didn't actually board the plane. I switched to a later flight. I looked for apartments near the airport, so I would be able to walk back easily and then I found it. It's so perfect Rose. Perfect for you and Dimitri and me and Christian," Lissa said happily.

"That's great Liss! Did you ask Christian yet?" I asked her uncertainly. I certainly hadn't even mentioned it to Dimitri. I had no idea how to even start.

"No. I was going to call him once I talked to you. I mentioned it to him and he seemed excited about it though," Lissa told me. "The apartment is magical. There are two big rooms and the living room has a beach theme. We have a balcony that looks out towards these mountains. It's amazing and it's here in Montana so if Dimitri has work to do at the Academy he would be able to drive there and back easily."

"That sounds great Liss," I told her sincerely. I heard Dimitri turn the water off. "Liss! How do I asked him about this?" I asked her panicked.

"I don't know," Lissa admitted in a small voice. "I wish I could help you Rose, but you have nothing to be worried about. I know he is going to say yes. He loves you."

I wish I could be reassured by Lissa's words, but I couldn't. I was so scared that Dimitri wouldn't want to spend his summer with some teenagers. He would probably want to spend it with people his own age. Girls his own age.

I shook my head to clear it just as Dimitri walked out of the bathroom. He was only in a towel and let me tell you, that didn't do much to help clear my head.

"I gotta go Liss. I'll call you later," I promised her.

"Good luck!" She said to me. I closed Dimitri's phone and grinned at him.

"Hey Comrade. Nice look for you, but I think you would look better without the towel," I joked.

He tried to hide his smile, but I saw it. "What did Lissa want?" He asked curiously. I looked at him nervously. Might as well come right out and say it.

"Well, she decided not to fly home yet. Instead she was looking into an apartment for me and her to share," I told him. "I can't really go home for the summer."

"Oh. Did she find anything?" Dimitri asked.

I nodded. "She said it's this apartment near the airport. It sounds pretty amazing," I admitted.

"That's great," Dimitri said with a smile.

"She's going to ask Christian to live with us," I told him hesitantly.

"Are you alright with that?" Dimitri asked surprised.

"Yeah," I told him honestly. "She really cares about Christian and I know he cares about her." She loves him, but I wasn't about to tell Dimitri that. Christian had told Lissa he loved her this past weekend and Lissa had been ecstatic.

"Well, as long as you're okay with it," Dimitri said.

It's now or never. I took a deep breath. "Would you like to live with us too?" I asked, not looking at him. I braced myself for his no. What I wasn't anticipating was the silence. The silence dragged on and on. I felt like I was going to explode. I was too scared to look at his face. "You know what? This was a dumb idea. Forget I asked about it. I should've known you wouldn't want to spend your summer with a group of teenagers. Don't worry about it."

I stood up and started to walk towards the door. Just as I was about to open the door, warm arms wrapped around me. "I do," he whispered in my ear.

I turned to him confused. "You do?" I asked uncertainly.

"I do want to live with you. I was just surprised. I hadn't expected you to actually ask me to live with you. Of course I want to live with you. I don't care if we're surrounded by toddlers, as long as we're together," he told me sincerely.

I grinned at him. "You sure?" I asked him.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," he promised me.

I grinned at him and leaned up towards him. I pressed my lips to his. He pulled back after a couple of seconds.

"Roza, I have to ask you a question now," he told me nervously.

"Ask away," I told him.

"I am going to Russia for two weeks to visit my family. Would you like to go with me?" He asked me. "I really want you to meet my family."


	30. Chapter 30

Dimitri's POV

"I gotta go Liss. I'll call you later," I heard Rose say into my phone as I walked out of the bathroom. She hung up the phone then grinned at me.

"Hey Comrade. Nice look for you, but I think you would look better without the towel," Rose joked.

I tried to hide my smile, unsuccessfully. I needed to focus. Did something happen with Lissa's flight? "What did Lissa want?" I asked curiously. When Rose looked at me, she almost looked nervous. I really hoped everything was okay with Lissa. We should have stayed until she boarded the plane. But there was no air-conditioning in the airport and Lissa had insisted she would be okay. And it's not like we could follow her through the airport security checkpoints. We didn't have plane tickets.

"Well, she decided not to fly home yet. Instead she was looking into an apartment for me and her to share," Rose told him. "I can't really go home for the summer." I internally sighed. I had waited too long. I was going to ask Rose to live with me for the summer, but now I had missed my chance.

"Oh. Did she find anything?" I asked, trying not to sound disappointed.

Rose nodded. "She said it's this apartment near the airport. It sounds pretty amazing," she admitted.

"That's great," I said to her with a smile. I meant it. I'm glad things were working out for her.

"She's going to ask Christian to live with us," she told me hesitantly.

"Are you alright with that?" I asked surprised. I hadn't realized that Christian and Lissa were so close, but that would explain Rose's smug expression whenever she sees them together.

"Yeah," she told me. I could hear the honestly in her voice. She really was okay with it. "She really cares about Christian and I know he cares about her." That's sweet of her. She's putting aside her own discomfort for Lissa. Then again, she was been kind of living with Christian for several months now. I guess she's used to it.

"Well, as long as you're okay with it," I said.

"Would you like to live with us too?" She asked, not looking at me. I stared at her shocked. Did she really just ask me that? Or was I just imagining it? No she definitely asked me to live with her. That's not just my overactive imagination. "You know what? This was a dumb idea. Forget I asked about it. I should've known you wouldn't want to spend your summer with a group of teenagers. Don't worry about it." She sounded crushed. I realized that she interpreted my silence negatively and thought I didn't want to live with her.

My body didn't catch up with my mind until I saw her stand up. I leaped out of bed and stopped her just as she was about to open the door. "I do," I whispered in her ear.

She turned to me confused. "You do?" she asked uncertainly. I internally sighed. Why couldn't I just have immediately have said yes?

"I do want to live with you. I was just surprised. I hadn't expected you to actually ask me to live with you. Of course I want to live with you. I don't care if we're surrounded by toddlers, as long as we're together," I explained to her. And I meant every word of it.

She grinned at me. "You sure?" She asked me.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," I promised her.

She stood on her tiptoes and kissed me. I pulled back before our kiss could pick up. She had asked her question, now it was my turn.

"Roza, I have to ask you a question now," I told her anxiously. I didn't know how to ask this.

"Ask away," she told me.

"I am going to Russia for two weeks to visit my family. Would you like to go with me?" I asked her. "I really want you to meet my family."

I held my breath and watched her reaction. I so badly wanted her to meet the rest of my family. I knew they would be crazy about her. And I knew she would get along with them perfectly.

The silence stretched on before me as I watched the struggle behind her eyes. I didn't want to interfere with her thoughts. I wanted this to be entirely her decision. Though I had to admit. It would be a pretty miserable two weeks without her. I needed to see my family. I couldn't not go, but I hated to leave Rose for that long.

I finally saw the decision in Rose's eyes. "I'll meet them," she told me in a small voice.

I looked at her concerned. She didn't look excited about her decision. She looked nervous. "What's wrong Roza?" I asked her softly.

She shook her head and bit her lip. "Nothing," she lied, refusing to look me in the eyes.

"Roza," I warned her. "I can tell that you're lying. Come on, you can tell me anything."

Her eyes finally found mine. "I know I can," she said quietly.

"Then tell me what's bothering you," I urged.

She took a deep breath. "It's just… I know from talking to Viktoria and from what you told me, that your family is very… um… very strict in their beliefs. They believe that men have a place defending moroi while women have a place in the household. While they won't openly condemn what Viktoria wants to do, she would never actually be able to do it. I don't think even if by some miracle, queen bitch decides to change the law, Viktoria still wouldn't be able to be a guardian. They sound like nicer versions of my mom, to be honest. So, what if they don't like me because I've made this decision? What if they hate me for it, for forgetting my 'place?' What if they decide to turn me in? I know they're not going to be happy with the decisions I've made and I don't want to come in between you and your family. Because, I am happy with the decisions I made. I made the right decisions for me, but I don't think they'll quite understand my perspective on this. I think they'll see a little rebel girl and nothing else," she told me. She was babbling a little.

I internally cursed myself. I hadn't even thought of that. My family might not approve of her, but she'll grow on them. Right? Keeping the emotion off my face, I pulled Rose into my chest. "They won't hate you," I told her soothingly. "They may not understand you at first, but they'll come around. You know Viktoria loves you already. She'll help them see you for who you really are. I think they're going to be so excited that I found a girl. I don't think they would care if you had four heads," I told her with a small smile.

She buried her face in my chest. "I'm just scared. You mean more to me than anyone else. I don't want to lose you because your family hates me. I couldn't bear to lose you," she admitted.

I hugged her tightly. "I'm not going anywhere. You're going to have to put up with me for a long, long time," I warned her jokingly.

As she pulled away from my chest, I saw a faint smile come across her face. It immediately faltered as she considered something. "You can't choose me over your family," she warned me in a small voice.

"What?" I asked her confused.

"I'm not worth it. You can't choose me over your family. Your family is… well your family. I've seen the way you talk about them. If it comes to it and they hate me, you can't choose me," she said. Her voice was picking up strength.

"That's not your decision to make," I pointed out with a frown.

She shook her head. "No! I'm not worth it. I will not come between you and your family," she said. I knew she meant it.

"You are worth it Roza. You mean too much for me to lose you," I pleaded.

She shook her head. "It would hurt you more to lose your family. I can't be the cause of that pain for you. If it comes to it, I would leave so that you won't lose them. I would rather give up everything I've worked so hard for, then see you in pain," she told me. She looked me right in the eye as she said this. I couldn't doubt her words.

I felt my stomach and chest tighten painfully at her words. I took a deep, calming breath. "Roza. The only person I couldn't bear to lose is you. If my family doesn't like you, I will choose you. They'll come around eventually. I know that because I know them. You have to trust me on that," I practically begged. Trying to regain control, I took more deep breaths. "Besides. That's not going to happen, because my family is going to love you. They're going to respect the decisions you've made." I don't know if I was trying to convince her or me, but I could see her considering my words carefully.

"I love you Dimitri," she whispered to me.

"I love you too Roza," I whispered back, kissing her forehead.

"My lips are down here," she said in true Rose Hathaway fashion.

I didn't even try to hold back my chuckle as I brought my lips down to hers. When we broke apart, both of us were panting. I could still see the fear in her eyes.

"It will be fine. They'll love you," I promised. "You have to trust me."

I could see from the look in her eyes that she did trust me. She trusted me unconditionally. "I do trust you," she promised me.

I grinned and kissed her lightly. I was very excited. She agreed to meet my family.


	31. Chapter 31

Rose's POV

Stan was dragging me to Dimitri. He literally was pulling me by my ear. "You are in big trouble. I can't wait to find out what Guardian Belikov had in store for you. You're lucky I'm not expelling you," he told me nastily. I glared at him, but I knew I was screwed. Dimitri would see right through my excuses.

I should probably explain how I got in this situation. Not that it's a rare occurrence for me to get in trouble with Stan, but I was in deep shit right now.

It was the last day of school. One of the rules of the school is that the entire school had to attend and watch the seniors get their promise marks. I'm not very good at following the rules.

Don't get me wrong. I had every intention of going to the ceremony, but something changed my mind.

I was walking back to my dorm from the cafeteria, eating a chocolate donut. Dean, a junior novice whom I cannot stand, walked up to me. "Geez Robert. No wonder you suck at combat so much. You eat like a pig," he taunted me. I tried to remember everything Dimitri had taught me about self-control. Trying to ignore him, I continued walking. I knew I wasn't fat so I wasn't going to let him get to me. I knew he was just jealous that I was better than him. "Or maybe it's because you're a chicken. You're too scared to face me without your wimpy roommate and your stupid friends? Maybe you need to grow a pair."

My jaw dropped. I responded like any guy would, I hoped. "I'm scared to face you? I don't think I was that scared when I was beating the crap out of you in practice the other day," I retorted.

"Beating me? Hardly. I just let you win because I felt bad for you. You fight like a girl," he shouted angrily.

Ouch. That hit a little too close to home. "Yet I still beat you. If I fight like a girl, what does that make you? Obviously I'm not the one that needs to grow a pair," I shouted back.

His face turned red and anger flashed in his eyes. "You're just jealous of my skills. You're some worthless novice that doesn't have a future. You don't have what it takes to be a guardian. You'll never make it," he yelled. I knew he was angry, but that was low.

"Look who's talking? I've seen ants that have better skill than you," I told him angrily.

"You went too far," he said angrily.

Keeping up the front of being a boy, I asked, "What with your mom?" I felt that this was an appropriate masculine response.

Obviously so did the crowd that surrounded us. I hadn't even noticed they were there until one of them said, "Burn!" They flicked their wrist, imitating a girl. If only they knew that girls don't do that.

His face hardened. "Stop hiding behind your stupid bravado. Everyone on campus knows you don't have a chance of surviving as a guardian. You'll probably see a Strigoi and run away screaming. You're endangering the moroi world by trying to become a guardian. You'll just get your moroi killed and…" He said, but I stopped listening.

I stiffened and walked up to him slowly. I felt an overwhelming need to get even. Somehow, I reached out to Lissa and gathered strength from her. I punched him hard and then ran. I sprinted back to my dorm, tears streaming down my cheeks. Luckily, Christian wasn't there, so I wouldn't have to tell him what happened. I sat down on the floor and cried. When I had calmed down, I looked at the clock. Shit. I was supposed to be at the promise ceremony in fifteen minutes.

There was no way in hell could I go to this ceremony looking like this. I couldn't face Dimitri or Christian. Even if I cleaned up, they would know in a millisecond that something was wrong. Plus Dean's words were on repeat in my head. If I saw him I don't think I would be able to stop myself from beating the crap out of him. It's bad enough that I have my own doubts, but did he really need to say that to me? I am constantly worried about whether or not I'll be a good guardian. Could he be right? Could I be destined to fail?

I started to cry again. I couldn't go to the ceremony like this. I think it's stupid that I have to sit through a four hour ceremony in the first place. I understand that it's a big deal for the seniors, but I don't think they really care if some junior novice they didn't know existed missed the ceremony. At least, that's how I was rationalizing my decision to myself. Besides, no one would notice if I wasn't there.

I couldn't stay in my room, because I knew they would be checking all the dorm rooms. I decided to stay in the gym. I was in the room with the punching bag and I was beating the living daylights out of it. I wasn't wearing gloves and I could see areas on my hands that had cracked open and were bleeding. "I will be a good guardian," I said, punching the bag. I was pretending it was Dean's face. It was helping with the rage a little bit. "You are the worthless novice."

I started pounding the bag with more anger. "I will not kill my moroi. I will not!" I said over and over and over again. I didn't realize I was shouting until someone ran into the room.

They pulled me off of the punching bag. I struggled in their hold, elbowing their stomach. Their grip on me lightened briefly, then their arms came around me restraining me. As the adrenaline wore off, I realized that Stan was the one holding me. The pain in my hands also started to register, but Stan clearly didn't care.

Stan was dragging me to Dimitri. He literally was pulling me by my ear. "You are in big trouble. I can't wait to find out what Guardian Belikov had in store for you. You're lucky I'm not expelling you," he told me nastily.

And here we are. Playing the part of terrified school boy, I turned to Stan. "Please don't turn me over to Dimitri," I pleaded. "His punishments are awful!"

I saw Stan's grin pick up. "I know. I read his reports," Stan said, clearly enjoying the image of me in pain.

"I don't think I will be able to handle running thirty-six laps around the track again," I said, pretending to be terrified. I was laughing on the inside. That was the punishment I had helped Dimitri fabricate. He had told Stan he had made me do those laps then one hundred push-ups. Then when I was at the point of exhaustion, he made me clean the gym. My actual 'punishment' was that Dimitri helped me clean the gym. I hate cleaning, but it went by quickly with Dimitri and I talking and joking around the whole time.

It was a lot of fun to make up punishments with Dimitri. Although, he would repeat the same punishment three or four times before he changed it. He told me he was running out of punishments so I need to stop getting in trouble with Stan.

"If you ask me, that's not a very harsh punishment," Stan said.

I rolled my eyes, and chose to ignore him. When we got to the commons, I was surprised to see there were only a few lingering guardians. I must have been in the gym longer than I thought.

Stan looked around then found what he was looking for… or I should say who. We walked up to Dimitri. He was talking to Yuri and didn't notice us at first.

Then Stan cleared his throat, placing both of his hands on my shoulder. "Guardian Belikov," he said, making Dimitri turn around.

It took all of my self-control not to laugh at the expressions on Dimitri's face. He looked annoyed when he saw Stan. Jealous when he saw Stan with his hands on my shoulder. Concerned when he saw my bloody hands. And then annoyed again when he turned to Stan.

"Where did you find him?" Dimitri asked. You could hear the annoyance in his voice, but Stan assumed it was towards me. In truth, Dimitri was a little annoyed that I kept getting in trouble, but he always got over it once I had explained what had happened. Then his words dawned on me. I guess someone had noticed my absence.

"How did you know I found him?" Stan asked suspiciously. Maybe Dimitri was the only one that noticed I hadn't been there.

"The promise ceremony only ended about ten minutes ago. That's not enough time for Mr. Hemmingway to get into enough trouble for you to have to bring him to me. Especially looking like that," Dimitri said, motioning towards my work-out clothes and bloody hands.

"Fair enough. He skipped the promise ceremony. I found him in the gym. The gym closed early which means he wasn't allowed to be there. Also, I found him in the room with the punching bag. Novices aren't allowed in there without guardian supervision," Stan said.

Dimitri nodded. "I'll take care of it," he promised. Stan walked away. I dropped my head as Dimitri turned his gaze to me.

"What happened?" He asked me softly.

"Nothing," I mumbled, avoiding eye contact as much as possible.

"Come on, follow me," Dimitri ordered. I debated that for a moment. But then I decided to follow him. I knew Dimitri wouldn't have a problem physically dragging me away. Trust me, he's done it before. I slowly followed him, secretly hoping he would walk too fast and I would be able to run. No luck. He slowed himself to my pace and never left my side.

He led me to his bedroom. When he unlocked his door, I briefly contemplated running, but my room was too far away and he was too fast.

I stomped into the room and sat down on his bed, ready for his interrogation. I crossed my arms. I thought I was ready for anything. What I wasn't ready for was for him to crush his lips to mine.


	32. Chapter 32

Dimitri's POV

I looked around, trying to find Rose. I wasn't that surprised she wasn't here yet. She wasn't on time for anything, but as the ceremony started, I was starting to get worried. Why was she skipping this? I knew her. She thought the ceremony was stupid, but she wouldn't just blow it off.

I spent the entire ceremony hoping that nothing bad had happened to her. Afterwards, I was pretending to mingle. I was really just trying to find out if anyone had heard anything about her.

I heard someone clear their throat behind me. I had every intention of ignoring it. I was trying to figure out where Rose could be. "Guardian Belikov," Stan said, making me turn around.

Keeping my guardian mask up, I turned to face Stan. I saw Rose next to him and I mentally breathed a sigh of relief. She was okay.

Then I looked at the bigger picture, making my carefully composed guardian mask drop. I was annoyed to see Stan, obviously trying to get in trouble again. I looked at his hands on her shoulder. I know there was nothing romantic going on with Stan and Rose, hell it wasn't even an intimate gesture, but it still drove me nuts to have him touch her. I struggled to recompose my guardian mask. As I continued making sure Rose was okay, I noticed her hands. They were bloody and bruised. I gave up trying to compose myself. I had a feeling her wounds were self-inflicted. They looked like my hands had after I went after a punching bag without gloves.

I turned back to Stan, feeling extremely annoyed. I was annoyed with Rose. Her hands gave me no doubt that she had a reasonable excuse for skipping the ceremony. Something must have happened. I doubt Stan even asked her. He probably just assumed she was skipping for the novelty of it. I'll admit I was a little annoyed with Rose. Why does she keep getting caught? All I needed to do was look down at her hands to realize Rose had not been in her right mind when she got caught.

"Where did you find him?" I asked. I know I wasn't doing a good job of hiding my annoyance, but I saw from Stan's smirk that he thought I was annoyed with Rose, not him. Then he dropped his smirk and narrowed his eyes at me.

"How did you know I found him?" Stan asked suspiciously. Shit. What's a good excuse? I can't very well say I noticed she wasn't there and I went against guardian protocol and didn't tell him.

"The promise ceremony only ended about ten minutes ago. That's not enough time for Mr. Hemmingway to get into enough trouble for you to have to bring him to me. Especially looking like that," I explained, coming up with the first thing I could think of.

Stan nodded his head. I mentally breathed a sigh of relief. He believed me. "Fair enough. He skipped the promise ceremony. I found him in the gym. The gym closed early which means he wasn't allowed to be there. Also, I found him in the room with the punching bag. Novices aren't allowed in there without guardian supervision," he told me.

I nodded. "I'll take care of it," I promised. I watched Stan walk away before I turned to Rose. I saw her drop her head. She was going to try to hide something from me.

"What happened?" I asked her softly.

"Nothing," she lied. I knew trust wasn't going to be an issue here. She just didn't like to look weak in front of other people. It still hurt that she wasn't going to tell me.

"Come on, follow me," I ordered. She briefly contemplated not listening, but her rational side won out. She moved at a painfully slow pace. I knew she was trying to escape, so I slowed my pace and never left her side.

I led her to my room. I unlocked the door and Rose stomped inside. I almost groaned, but stopped myself just in time. I knew it was going to take a while for me to find out what was bothering her.

She crossed her arms and tried to put off a tough guy persona. I saw right through it. I saw how much she was hurting underneath her façade. I felt the need to protect her, to make her feel better. Before I knew what I was doing, I crossed the room to my bed and I kissed her. I could feel her surprise, but she quickly recovered and kissed me back.

When we broke apart, I had to remind myself why she was here. Before I started asking questions, I went to my bathroom and got my first-aid kit. I sat her up on the bed and starting tending to her hands. "Will you tell me what happened?" I asked her gently.

"It was nothing," she said, refusing to look at me.

"Rose," I warned.

"I mean it Dimitri. Just some stupid novice boy. I overreacted," she told me.

"What did the stupid novice boy do?" I asked, trying to relieve her tension. I knew it worked when I saw her smile when I called the novice stupid.

"He didn't do anything," she said evasively. I knew she wouldn't lie to me, but I also knew she was using her Rose logic so that it was the truth.

"What did he say then?" I asked. She bit her lip and I knew I had guessed right. I had expected her to try to avoid the topic. What I hadn't expected was the tears that she was desperately trying to hide.

I wrapped my arms around her. "What did he say?" I asked her gently. "You know you can trust me."

Her sobs picked up. "He… He s... said th… that I wa… wasn't going to b… be a g… good guardian. And th… that I was g… going to g… get my m… moroi k… killed," she cried. I held her tightly while she cried. "I just h… had to get it out s… somehow. I c… couldn't go to th… the ceremony and f… face you and chr… Christian. I went to th… the gym and j… just started b… beating the sh… shit out of th… the punching bag." It started to fall into place. I knew Rose's biggest fear was that she wouldn't be able to be a good guardian

I kissed her forehead. "Oh Roza. You have to realize that you will be an amazing guardian. Your already one of the best novices here, including the seniors that just graduated. In a year, you will be better than most of the fully trained guardians," I told her soothingly. "You already are better than some of them. You will be an amazing guardian because you chose this. You gave up everything for this, which makes you better than everyone out there."

She looked up at me. Her tears had slowed down and she seemed to be contemplating my words. "You really mean that?" She asked in a shaky voice.

"Absolutely. Rose, you beat me half the time in practice and I do not go easy on you. Most fully trained guardians have trouble beating me once or twice, but you manage to do it all the time. You need to realize the extent of your abilities. There's not a single novice here that can beat you," I told her sincerely. I meant every word of it. She was going to be an amazing guardian. The best of the best.

"Thanks Dimitri," she said. She sounded exhausted.

"Let's get some sleep," I suggested. "You know Lissa will kill us if we're too tired to move into our apartment tomorrow."

Rose rolled her eyes. "She doesn't scare me," Rose muttered under her breath.

I chuckled. "She's terrifying," I told her jokingly.

"You're just saying that because she threw a pan at your head when you told her the kitchen would look better if she painted it green instead of blue," Rose told me with a smile.

I groaned at the memory. Lissa was a force to be reckoned with. Last weekend, we went to see our apartment for the first time. Rose warned me not to get on Lissa's bad side. I brushed off her concern. I didn't think a moroi would be able to inflict that much damage. I was wrong.

I made an innocent suggestion and Lissa went completely ballistic on me. She chucked a pan at my head and told me I was ungrateful. After that, I learned not to mess with Lissa when she was in her apartment decorating zone.

Rose chuckled. "She's not that bad. She just had her heart set on blue. That and because she was so stressed about whether or not we would like the apartment, spirit's darkness was overwhelming her a little bit," Rose pointed out.

I sighed. The darkness was definitely a complication. Rose had come to me crying once, because Lissa had hurt herself when darkness had taken over. I don't know the specifics of the bond. I don't think Rose and Lissa even know the specifics of the bond, but whenever the darkness affects Lissa, Rose feels so guilty for not being there for Lissa. "I understand. I wish we could do something to help her with the darkness," I told her sincerely.

A strange look passed across Rose's face. "Rose? What is it?" I asked her anxiously.

"I think I found a way…" She said quietly.

"You… found a way?" I asked confused.

She bit her lip. "I think I took the darkness from Lissa," she admitted to me.


	33. Chapter 33

Rose's POV

I was exhausted. I had told Dimitri what happened with Dean. I don't think I've ever cried so much in my life. I was ready to fall asleep in his arms.

"Let's get some sleep," Dimitri suggested. "You know Lissa will kill us if we're too tired to move into our apartment tomorrow."

I rolled my eyes. "She doesn't scare me," I muttered under my breath.

I didn't think Dimitri heard me until he chuckled. "She's terrifying," he told me jokingly.

"You're just saying that because she threw a pan at your head when you told her the kitchen would look better if she painted it green instead of blue," I teased him. I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face.

My smile widened when Dimitri groaned. I knew he was remembering last weekend when Lissa had dragged us to the apartment so we could finally see it. I had warned him beforehand. I told him not to mess with Lissa. I knew he didn't listen to me. I think he thought I was joking.

He suggested that Lissa should paint the kitchen green instead of blue. I could see that spirit's darkness was rearing its ugly head. Even though Dimitri didn't mean anything by it, Lissa took it as a personal insult. The darkness took over and before any of us knew what had happened, Lissa chucked a pan at Dimitri's head.

Dimitri spent the rest of the day eyeing Lissa's every move and luckily keeping his mouth shut.

I chuckled. "She's not that bad. She just had her heart set on blue. That and because she was so stressed about whether or not we would like the apartment, spirit's darkness was overwhelming her a little bit," I pointed out.

After Lissa's tantrum, I knew I would have to warn Dimitri about the side effects of spirit. A couple days later when Lissa cut herself, he let me use his phone to call her and calm her down. I had been terrified that Lissa was going to die, but death hadn't been her goal. Then he let me cry into his shoulder. He kept reminding me that it wasn't my fault. I felt as though it were though. If I had been there, I could have prevented it.

"I understand. I wish we could do something to help her with the darkness," he said to me, breaking me out of my thoughts. I knew he wished he could help her, because he knew the effect she had on me. I froze as I thought about my actions today. I remembered reaching out towards Lissa mentally. I took something from her. Something that made me lash out at Dean. Something that I got out of my system as I punched the punching bag. I took the darkness from her. I knew it. I was angry and upset, but looking back on it, I had reacted irrationally. Now I knew why. I also think I understood why I rambled in the airport after Lissa's first visit. Lissa used to do that sometimes when the darkness was overwhelming her. I bit my lip to hold back my tears. I was going crazy.

"Rose? What is it?" he asked me anxiously.

I took a moment to compose my thoughts. I knew I couldn't keep this from him. "I think I found a way…" I told him quietly. I was terrified. What does this mean? If I take the darkness from Lissa, where does that leave me? I saw Dimitri stiffen. He looked as though he couldn't process my words.

"You… found a way?" he asked confused.

I bit my lip hesitantly. "I think I took the darkness from Lissa," I finally admitted.

I saw his eyes widen with fear. "Rose?" He asked, worry evident in his eyes. He saw what it did to Lissa and he was worried about what it would do to me.

"When Dean said those things to me, I punched him," I admitted quietly. "At the time I couldn't figure out why I had done it. I was upset, yeah, but I felt out of control. I kind of reached out to Lissa and I took something from her. Something that gave me what I needed to punch Dean. I think it was darkness."

I realized my mistake too late. I saw his eyes tighten and he stood up angrily. I knew exactly what he was going to do. He was going to go confront Dean. Why the hell did I say his name? I knew Dimitri was angry about what Dean had said, but I had to hope that he wasn't going to do anything rash. At least I distracted him from the whole taking Lissa's darkness thing. I just hoped he would let the Dean thing go.

As he ran out of the room, I had my answer. He was not letting this go. This was bad. I followed him, but I knew I didn't have a prayer of stopping him. Before I knew it, we were storming into one of the lounges in the dorm building. Dean was sitting with one other novice at a table in the corner. Dimitri stormed right up to him, grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him out into the hallway. I stayed in the shadows so Dean wouldn't notice me.

"Mr. Barnes. Are you aware of the infraction you have committed today?" Dimitri asked in a threatening voice. If that voice had been directed at me, I'm pretty sure I would have peed my pants.

Dean's eyes widened. Dimitri wasn't leaving any room for doubt. He knew exactly what Dean had done today. "Yes… Yes Guardian Belikov," he answered. He sounded terrified. Dimitri glared at him, waiting for him to continue. "I… I insulted Robert Hemmingway. I told him he ate like a pig and that he was going to kill off his moroi." Hearing him admit it, I had to physically restrain myself to stop myself from attacking him. I dug my fingernails into my palm.

"And?" Dimitri asked threateningly.

Dean gulped. It was obvious that he thought that was all Dimitri knew. I actually don't think Dimitri knew more, he was just finding something that he could legitimately punish Dean for. "And I put the snake in his bed," he admitted, dropping his head.

Dimitri's anger increased. I don't think Dean noticed, but I did. "Are you aware of the punishments for your transgression?" Dimitri spit out furiously.

Dean shrunk and shook his head. I was standing there shocked. He put a snake in my bed? Oh hell no.

"You will report to the gym in fifteen minutes. Am I understood?" Dimitri asked. His eyes flashed, warning Dean that he didn't have a choice. Dean reluctantly nodded his head. The second Dimitri loosened his grip, Dean ran off.

I walked over to Dimitri and put my hand on his arm. "Calm down Dimitri," I told him soothingly.

Dimitri turned to me. "He is going to pay," he promised. I saw the anger in his eyes.

"You're already punishing him. It's going to be okay Comrade. You need to calm down," I urged him softly.

"How?" He asked desperately. That's when I realized how upset he was. He was struggling for control. He was angry someone had hurt me and he was going to do everything he can to make it better.

"Well, apparently there's a snake in my room that needs to be dealt with," I told him, trying to lighten his mood. It worked.

He chuckled lightly. "I guess we better go deal with that before we head to the gym," he admitted with a tight smile.

"We?" I asked him surprised.

"You think I am going to make you miss his punishment?" Dimitri asked, pretending to be insulted.

I grinned at him. "I guess not," I told him.

We went back to his room first. He grabbed a pillowcase and his fireplace poker before we made our way to my dorm room. Christian was standing outside, looking as pale as a moroi. "There is a big-ass snake in our dorm," he told me fearfully.

I gave him a small smile. "So I've hear. But don't worry, I've come with backup. I figured this was a man's job," I teased.

"Hey I am a man," Christian defended.

I grabbed the pillowcase from Dimitri. I held it out to Christian. "Then go catch the snake," I challenged.

"You know, I'm so tired," Christian said, pretending to yawn.

"That's what I thought," I said as I returned the pillowcase to Dimitri. "After you Comrade," I said to Dimitri

Dimitri slowly opened the door. I entered after him, feeling like a little kid hiding behind their mother. I kept peeking out behind his arm to look at our room. At first I didn't see anything, but when I did find it, I couldn't help my scream. Christian wasn't joking. It was huge.

I ran out of the room, deciding I would only get in the way. I heard strange noises coming from the room and about five minutes later, Dimitri emerged looking victorious with the snake in the pillowcase. Christian was right behind him, still looking scared. "You look like you've seen a ghost Chrissie," I taunted.

He rolled his eyes. "You screamed like a girl Rosie," he retorted.

"I am a girl, what's your excuse?" I teased.

Christian rolled his eyes then stomped back into our dorm room.

"What now?" I asked Dimitri.

"I think Mr. Barnes may be missing his pet," Dimitri said. There was an evil note in his voice.

I looked at him warily before I followed him to the gym. This was going to be interesting.


	34. Chapter 34

Dimitri's POV

I was walking with Rose to the gym. I knew she was nervous about what I was going to do. It wasn't going to be that bad. It's not like I was going to kill Dean, even if I wanted to. I was still holding the pillowcase with the snake in it. The snake was huge, but I knew it's not poisonous or anything.

When we got to the gym, Dean was already there. He was shaking and looked terrified. Just as he very well should. "Good evening Mr. Barnes," I said in a friendly voice.

I saw his eyes widen in fear. "G… Good ev… evening Guardian B… Belikov," Dean stuttered.

"Mr. Barnes. I believe you left this in Mr. Hemmingway's room. I didn't want you to miss your little friend, so I felt it would only be appropriate to return it to you," I told him. I raised the pillowcase and threw it towards Dean. He gulped when he looked at it. "Now Mr. Barnes. Where did you find this creature?"

"In… In the woods," Dean told me.

"Very well. Return it and I expect you back in five minutes. If you go over five minutes, I will make the rest of your punishment much more severe," I threatened. "Am I understood?"

Dean nodded and hesitantly picked up the pillowcase. He held it an arm's length away and took off running. I heard Rose start cracking up. I knew she had probably been holding in her laughter since we arrived. I quickly pulled out my phone and sent Yuri a quick text.

Punishing Mr. Barnes for putting a snake in Mr. Hemmingway's room. Are you okay with that?

Dean was under Yuri's jurisdiction, but I knew Yuri hated having to punish the novices he was in charge of.

"That wasn't very bad-ass," Rose teased.

I raised an eye brow at her and saw her scowl. She hated that I could do that. "That wasn't his punishment. It's not like I can let him keep a snake on campus. When he gets back is when the fun begins," I explained.

"What kind of snake is it? It looks like a rattle snake," Rose said nervously.

My phone went off before I could answer her.

That's fine. Thanks man. Do you need me to do anything? Yuri replied.

I am making him run laps. If you could watch and make sure he does them all, that would be a huge help. I have to administer Mr. Hemmingway's punishment for skipping the promise ceremony. I closed my phone and turned back to Rose.

"It's a bullsnake. They do resemble rattle snakes, but their different," I tried to explain to her.

She rolled her eyes. "Thanks that cleared that up," she said sarcastically.

"It's not a poisonous snake. Trust me, getting bitten by a snake is not his punishment," I told her.

"What are you going to make him do?" Rose asked me nervously.

"Do you remember the punishment you made up for yourself? I felt it was only fitting that I should punish him with your punishment," I explained.

I saw a huge grin come across her face. "So 36 laps? 100 push-ups? Cleaning the gym?" She asked hopefully. I detected a bit of relief behind her smile.

"What did you think I was going to do?" I asked her confused.

"Honestly, I thought you were going to beat the shit out of him," she explained, not looking at me.

"I would, but I can't lose my job. Who knows what kind of trouble you would get in without me?" I teased.

"I would be expelled," she said with a shrug. "The only reason I'm still here is because of you."

Wow. That kid is a piece of work. Does he ever stay out of trouble? Yuri asked. I couldn't help my laughter. Rose sent me a confused look.

Not that I have seen, but I think I would faint if he went a day without getting in trouble. I answered him.

I gave Rose a small smile. I took a moment to remember what she had just said. "That's why I can't get fired," I explained once I remembered.

She grinned up at me. "What would I do without you?" She asked.

"You would be so lonely," I said with a smile.

"There's no denying that. Plus then I would have to put up with Christian every night," she said jokingly. "Nights are my favorite part of my day."

"Nights are the favorite part of your day? Really?" I asked her amused. "I knew you were using me for my bed." After I said the words, I internally cursed myself. I really hoped that she wouldn't hear the double meaning in my words. Of course that's too much to ask for.

"You caught me. I'm just using you for the sex. I'm not with you because I'm madly in love with you," she said sarcastically.

I grinned at her, but my response was cut off by footsteps. Dean reappeared, still looking scared.

"Mr. Barnes, are you aware how long you were gone?" I asked him. I didn't really know, but I would say 9-10 minutes. He was definitely gone much longer than five minutes.

He shook his head wearily. "N… No sir," he said nervously.

"You were gone nine minutes. Clearly we need to improve your speed. Go do forty laps around the track. You have forty minutes. Every minute you go forty minutes is another lap you will have to do later. Understood?" I asked. He gulped again and nodded.

I'm in place. How many laps does Dean have to do? Yuri asked.

Forty was my quick response before I turned my attention back to Dean.

He started to walk away. "Oh and Mr. Barnes?" I asked. He turned around to look at me nervously. "I will have someone watching. So don't even try to get out of doing all forty," I warned.

He walked away and I turned to Rose. "Mr. Hemmingway, please accompany me to the workout room with the punching bag," I said formally.

I saw Rose look at me confused, but I didn't explain. I really did have someone watching Dean and I knew they located themselves close enough that they would be able to overhear anything I said to Rose.

I chose the punching bag room, because there weren't any windows. The moment I had closed the door, Rose pounced. "What was that about?" She asked.

"I have Yuri watching Dean to make sure he runs all forty laps. I didn't want to risk him being close enough to overhear us. Plus, I technically have to punish you," I explained with a grin.

There was a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. She slowly walked up to me. I looked at her confused. She wrapped her arms around my neck and then it clicked. "What's my punishment?" She asked in a seductive voice. I internally groaned. I was trying to hold myself back, but I really wasn't having a lot of luck with that.

"I… uh… Sparring and punching…" I managed to say.

"I can think of another way to work out," she told me with a wink. I gulped. She dropped her hands to her side and took a step back. "Guess you don't want to though." She shrugged as she walked towards the door.

Before I knew what I was doing, I ran over to her and kissed her. She smiled against the kiss. I knew she thought she was getting her way, but she wasn't. I wasn't going to have sex in the gym… I hoped. I've been wrong before.

A little less than forty minutes later, my phone buzzed letting me know the first forty minutes were up. I stood up and distanced myself from Rose. I checked the time so I would be able to know how many more laps Dean has to do. I looked back at Rose lustfully. She was in the process of redressing.

I groaned. "I can't believe you got me to have sex in the gym," I pretended to whine.

"Don't even deny it. You liked it," Rose said, without even looking up at me. She was currently struggling to readjust the cloth she uses to hide her curves.

I chuckled. "No denying that," I muttered under my breath. "Here let me help you," I told her as I walked over to her side. I helped her wrap herself up efficiently. She pulled her shirt on next and tossed me mine.

I pulled it on as we walked out of the room. We sat down by the mats. Rose kept struggling to keep her eyes opened. Well no one can argue that she wasn't exhausted. We waited almost fifteen minutes before Dean arrived in front of us, panting. I looked at my phone. I saw a text from Yuri. Did all forty. Have a good night. I turned to Dean. "Fifteen more laps Mr. Barnes. I'll give you sixteen minutes this time. Mr. Hemmingway, you are free to go," I told her. I didn't want her to see me push Dean to the point where he collapses from exhaustion. I knew she wouldn't entirely approve. She defiantly wouldn't approve of me beating the crap out of him once he is too exhausted to realize what's going on.

Her eyes narrowed at me. Crap. I knew she wasn't going to go anywhere. "Guardian Belikov," she said to me. I winced at my formal name. "I would like to accompany you to the track. Dean did after all put the snake in my room."

I repressed my groan. "Mr. Barnes, please make your way to the track. We will be with you shortly," I told him. Once he was out of earshot, I turned to Rose. "What do you think you are doing?"

"What do you think you are doing?" She asked annoyed. "I know you have a plan. I can tell. You can't hurt him."

How does she figure these things out? I internally groaned. "Fine," I spat out. I hated being mad at her, but why can't she just let me do this? I felt a sudden burst of warmth on my arm and turned to see Rose holding onto my arm.

"Don't be mad at me. I just want to keep you safe. I'll get over what he said, but if you get caught? I will never get over having you taken away from me," she explained softly. I could see the truth in her eyes.

"Oh Roza. I'm not going anywhere," I promised her. "I'm staying right here."


	35. Chapter 35

Rose's POV

By some miracle, I managed to stop Dimitri from killing Dean. But it was an extremely close call. I don't know exactly what Dimitri had been planning, but I knew it wasn't any good, so I packed in as much feminine charm as I had and I managed to distract him.

We woke up early the next morning, extremely exhausted. But it was a good exhausted. Of course the second Dimitri's eyes opened, he hopped out of bed and was bustling around doing anything and everything that needs to be done. I snuggled into the blankets further, enjoying the warmth.

"Let's just stay in bed," I suggested sleepily.

"Oh no. I don't think so. Lissa's wrath is so not worth it. Besides we can sleep at our apartment," he told me. I could hear the joy in his voice when he mentioned our apartment.

"No she won't," I grumbled. "We're not going to have a moment's rest until everything is unpacked and we've adequately celebrated getting an apartment. And by Lissa's standards too. We may never sleep again." I said all of this without once opening my eyes.

"You still need to pack," Dimitri pointed out.

I groaned and rolled over, cocooning myself in my blankets and trying to fall back asleep. I could feel Dimitri trying to wake me up. Nothing worked.

That was until he decided to change tactics. He put his hand on the side of my hide and brought his lips to mine. I felt myself instinctively responding to his lips. My eyes flew open as I tried to press myself closer to him. My mistake.

I had forgotten that I was on the edge of the bed. I toppled off and brought Dimitri with me. I'm pretty sure Dimitri's plan backfired. I was lying right on top of his, our lips almost touching. I saw the animal passion in his eyes. You would think after months of being together, we would get over the urge to constantly kiss and touch, but no. That's not how it works.

It took Dimitri visible effort to recompose himself. He carefully pushed me off of him. "You need to pack," he told me, not looking at me.

I put my arm on his shoulder. "One kiss?" I asked hopefully.

He sighed and pressed his lips to mine. I immediately locked my arms around his neck. He couldn't break my hold even if he wanted to, and trust me, he didn't want to. He groaned as our kiss picked up in intensity.

He picked me up and put me on the bed, never breaking the kiss. Both of us were shirtless when someone just decided to barge into Dimitri's room.

"I knew there was a reason you weren't answering your phone," I heard Lissa's voice say.

She was completely un-phased by the fact that I was sitting in Dimitri's embrace topless. "You know, we're kind of in the middle of something," I told her, still gazing into Dimitri's horrified expression. I think the only thing keeping him from moving was that he didn't want to expose me to Lissa.

"Oh put a shirt on. You can do that later. After we've moved in, unpacked, and decorated," she told me. "Oh and we have to have a little party in our apartment. It will just be the four of us, but it will be fun."

"I told you so," I whispered to Dimitri. "Thirty minutes?" I asked Lissa louder so she could hear.

"Fifteen," Lissa argued.

"Twenty," I said.

"Deal," Lissa agreed as she backed out of the room.

Once she was gone, I gave Dimitri my undivided attention. "I only wanted twenty minutes," I admitted mischievously.

"That's not very long," Dimitri pointed out. I could see the lust in his eyes.

"Let's make the best of it," I said. I hopped out of the bed.

"What are you doing?" Dimitri asked me, looking hurt.

I walked to his door and locked it. I turned back to see a relieved Dimitri. "That should buy us a couple of minutes," I told him with a grin.

He smiled back and when I got back to the bed, pulled me towards him.

As we laid in his bed afterwards, I couldn't figure out how I had lucked out on this. I had an amazing man in my life, a man who returned my feelings. I was about to spend an amazing summer with my best friends and my boyfriend. I was training to be a guardian.

Nothing could dampen my good mood. Or that's what I thought. We heard a loud pounding on the door and we grudgingly broke apart. I grabbed some clothes and went to his bathroom to shower and change. I knew it would be Lissa at the door, so I didn't bother hiding.

I emerged from the bathroom twenty minutes later to an amused Dimitri and a furious Lissa. "Took you long enough," Lissa said annoyed.

"I had to shower Liss. Besides it should only take me a couple of minutes to finish packing," I told her. That was the wrong thing to say.

"You didn't finish packing yet?" Lissa screamed.

"It's okay Princess. I finished packing most of her stuff. That's what I was doing in Christian's room," Dimitri explained. This was news to me.

"You finished packing for me?" I asked surprised.

"I knew you were going to take a while in the shower," he said. "I just wanted to help out."

I grinned at him. "Thanks Comrade," I told him sincerely. Then what he had said dawned on me. "Most of my stuff?" I asked curiously.

"I… um… didn't want to touch the drawer that had your bras and panties in it. That felt like an invasion of privacy," he admitted with a blush.

I looked at him confused. "It's not like you haven't helped me take those off multiple times," I pointed out. I swear, my mouth had no filter. None. Dimitri blushed even deeper.

"Gross," Lissa complained.

I rolled my eyes. "It's true. So what's the real reason you didn't want to pack them?" I asked him suspiciously.

He shrugged. I walked out of Dimitri's room and towards mine. Just like he had said, almost everything was packed. He had left a suitcase open on my bed. I opened my dresser and gasped. He had indeed packed everything. There were no clothes inside my dresser. Instead there was a little teddy bear. It was a tan bear and it had a heart on its chest. "Roza and Dimitri forever," was written on the heart in tiny cursive.

I picked it up and noticed something taped to its back. Plane tickets. Two of them. To see Dimitri's family. Even if I was nervous, I was excited. And this was the cutest way of giving me plane tickets I have ever seen.

I quickly checked the rest of my drawers and when I was satisfied he hadn't missed any of my clothes, I closed my suitcase. I hadn't doubted him per se, but I needed to double check.

I made my way back to his room with a goofy smile on my face. Once I was in his room, I dropped his suitcase and threw myself into his arms. "It's adorable," I whispered to him.

"I'm glad you like it," he told me. He kissed my forehead and then hovered over my lips. "I wanted to get you something special."

"Well I loved it," I told him sincerely. I stood up on my tippy toes so I could close the distance between our lips.

Lissa cleared her throat uncomfortably and we broke apart. "Sorry," we muttered at the same time without breaking eye contact.

"We really should get going," Lissa warned.

I sighed and took Dimitri's hand. There was no way I was letting go of it. We walked out of his room towards our new apartment. This was going to be an amazing summer.

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think or if there's anything you believe would help me with my writing!


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